Intimacy: Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle,...

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By John jacob - 13/06/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 656

You deserved it 6 211

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Same thing different taste

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 700

You deserved it 3 533

Three is the magic number

By KTBeck - 26/05/2020 14:00

Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 368

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 16:00

Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 225

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 840

You deserved it 2 981

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 213

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 137

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 908

You deserved it 4 174

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 04:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 604

You deserved it 7 774

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 3 841

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 325

MtnDew32 0

Monday 13 June 2011 11:52

A tick on your dick? Ew, that's sick.

IceeCreamm 7

Monday 13 June 2011 11:49

wow maybe having a bigger penis is not that bad?

Comments

dontstealmyshoes 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:12

haha sorry but that is pretty funny

MozzarellaMonky 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:14

fml why bigger penis

MozzarellaMonky 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:14

fml why bigger penis

MozzarellaMonky 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:14

fml why bigger penis

DelPiero10 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:25

twice the size? so your wiener is now 2 inches hahaah

ithappens28 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:30

hey at least its bigger...

speedgay 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:30

So now your penis is close to average?

iyazwoodfle 4

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:31

isn't this a good thing..?

sblylaw 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:32

kind of sounds like it's a win win thing here?

kalika2015 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 0:41

.......I have nothing to say....

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I agree, your life sucks 302

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Same thing different taste

Three is the magic number

Fancy seeing you here

Bailed out

Sneaky

Poor little guy

Yucky!

Ouch!

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