Health: Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by... - FML

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 356

By Soresack - 04/01/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 200

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 49 770

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 901

New balls

By boxerswontdo - 06/03/2022 02:00

Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 305

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 111

You deserved it 2 156

Nutshot

By Blue Nut Records - 31/10/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Delémont

Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 7 349

By kevcng - 10/09/2012 21:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 722

You deserved it 7 991

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Top comments

thatsjustgreat1 16

Saturday 13 February 2016 8:29

Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".

SecundusSecunda 27

Saturday 13 February 2016 8:29

What has been pictured in my mind, cannot be undone. ಠ_ಠ I hope your jewel heals. Tis' but a scratch!

Comments

freddygasman 18

Monday 15 February 2016 9:39

sadly a song came to mind when reading this, sing along if you know it. do your balls hang low, do they wobble too and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow........ I feel for you though, couldn't even imagine the pain.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Bosses Work Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 334

You deserved it 4 255

The Top

Today, I was walking to find a public toilet in a Chinese village. While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a thin sheet of plastic. I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 026

You deserved it 5 868

Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 603

You deserved it 389

Today, my mom decided to let my sandwich spoil instead of refrigerating it. I spent half an hour vomiting and my mom thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 361

You deserved it 742

Today, my new girlfriend introduced me to her bisexual best friend. I can’t help but find it weird that he helped her fake tan, completely naked, or the time he helped her wax her muff, also completely naked, while she waxed his balls and ass crack. This might be too weird for me to tolerate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 220

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 626

You deserved it 2 663

Today, I rented a house for 5 years with my girlfriend, only to find out she is the actual owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 248