Miscellaneous: Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the...

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 994

You deserved it 31 758

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Same thing different taste

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 18 249

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 3 110

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 200

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 194

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 679

You deserved it 2 475

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 211

You deserved it 1 993

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

CandidB 4

Monday 5 March 2012 1:20

How do u impress someone by showing the smashes remains of a dead spider?

lexa1love 16

Monday 5 March 2012 1:21

I would have done the same thing. The spider should not have been crawling around free, and he should have told u about his pet when moving in.

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 6 March 2012 0:35

Arachnophobia!

scumbagmagnet 10

Tuesday 6 March 2012 1:12

Hahaha I have to laugh at this. Who could blame you for smashing the shot out of a huge ass spider! Congrats on killing it...

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:37

How can you not tell its a tarantuala? Normal spiders don't get to even 1/10th the size of a tarantuala, especially where you live. They are a desert creature and will die in the enviroment of Oregon. Then to try and show it off? What kind of person wants to see a smooshed spider?

TwinArmageddons 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:53

Why is everyone afraid of spiders? I mean I've even had a black widow on me and it's not like they'll bite you, unless your being an idiot that is.

BigManWithThePla 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:56

Have u tucked him yet girl?

niwa710 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:11

who the hell owns a pet tarantula Dafuq.

Lemonkiss 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:34

Are you that ******* stupid to think a tarantula is a house spider? Wouldn't you know your roommate had a pet? I mean it's obviously a fake story, and an unbelievable one at that. Who lets this shit through?

Kyndapunny 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 6:34

i squished he goddamm holy shit **** out of a bug.. after my dog had eaten it and thrown it up a few timesand it was alive. so.. smashing party:))

SooInnLovee 6

Tuesday 6 March 2012 7:36

I'm sorry but I cannot feel bad for him I absolutely HATE spiders especially tarantulas!!!!! Still sucks to be him and why would squishing a spider turn on or impress your roomate anyhow?