Miscellaneous: Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the...

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 994

You deserved it 31 758

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Same thing different taste

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 18 249

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 3 110

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 200

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 194

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 679

You deserved it 2 475

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 211

You deserved it 1 993

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

CandidB 4

Monday 5 March 2012 1:20

How do u impress someone by showing the smashes remains of a dead spider?

lexa1love 16

Monday 5 March 2012 1:21

I would have done the same thing. The spider should not have been crawling around free, and he should have told u about his pet when moving in.

Comments

cmac86 23

Monday 5 March 2012 9:04

Your wording of this story made me laugh.

JB184351 1

Monday 5 March 2012 9:44

Why would the spider be out of its container anyway I probably would've done the same if I didn't know whose spider it was.

lilhomo 0

Monday 5 March 2012 9:51

He def should've told you about his pet spider way before he even moved in.

sarah2144 14

Monday 5 March 2012 10:07

Eek. Just thinking of tarantulas makes my skin crawl. I'm impressed you killed one haha.

ThatOneGuy612 5

Monday 5 March 2012 10:27

*Spinarak has fainted* lol

bakingforlife16 0

Monday 5 March 2012 10:55

Why would you want to say a mean thing for another mean thing???? Just don't say anything mean at all

alan831 9

Monday 5 March 2012 11:07

I like that you said "goddamned" and "holy" in the same sentence.

imparfit42 7

Monday 5 March 2012 11:08

creepy. I love the wording though. (:

greenmen 12

Monday 5 March 2012 11:49

Lol! Guess you will need to purchase another Godzilla horror

EAT1996 0

Monday 5 March 2012 12:23

What the **** does that even mean? I don't speak dork

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 081

You deserved it 3 096

Today, I slept maybe fifteen hours. I'm supposed to be getting better but I'm not sure if I am and that scares the hell out of me. My room is a mess and I'm hungry. Maybe if i just get one sweet kiss, I'll be alright. I'm trying. I think? I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like there's something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 252

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 1 607

Today, my wife and I are planning a simple team meal for our son's team. We're stuck on pulled pork or meatballs. I've told her I don't care. She's still indecisive. This has been going on for 2 days. We're now not talking, over meatballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 123

You deserved it 2 313

Today, I drove two hours to secretly buy an antique book my wife has been looking for for 30 years since her childhood copy was lost in a house fire. There was one other guy there interested in buying it, we were both cash buyers but with one difference: I was the one who forgot his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 336

Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 334

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 4 590

Same thing different taste

My finest hour

Adapt, improvise, overcome

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