Miscellaneous: Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the...

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 31 764

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Same thing different taste

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 190

You deserved it 18 256

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 228

You deserved it 3 110

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 203

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 025

You deserved it 5 960

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 203

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 2 476

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 14 265

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 213

You deserved it 1 995

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 6 857

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 465

CandidB 4

Monday 5 March 2012 1:20

How do u impress someone by showing the smashes remains of a dead spider?

lexa1love 16

Monday 5 March 2012 1:21

I would have done the same thing. The spider should not have been crawling around free, and he should have told u about his pet when moving in.

Comments

drawmyhearton_fml 3

Monday 5 March 2012 2:09

You both deserved it. He should have told you about his pet spiders, since many people are afraid of them. And you, well don't kill spiders! It didn't do anything to you and it's not its fault it's ugly >(

ElricMustang 23

Monday 5 March 2012 2:48

Who says they're ugly? That's just an opinion.

Btelgeus 11

Monday 5 March 2012 11:35

Spiders that size normally are poisonous, you know. Better kill them BEFORE they do anything to you

t765234 10

Monday 5 March 2012 12:55

209- What? Turantula venom is basically nothing to humans, the only reasons turantulas are dangerous are their fangs and hairs.

ImTheAlpha 30

Wednesday 25 July 2012 5:48

209: Larger spiders don't really use that much venom. Tarantulas don't have very much venom, they rely on superior size to capture prey and fight predators and competition.

ChloeRenee27 0

Monday 5 March 2012 2:12

" I smashed the god damned holy shit out of it " :) This made my day .

MargieDrury 1

Monday 5 March 2012 2:28

Lol same girl same.

b33tle97 0

Monday 5 March 2012 2:15

Why would you want to step on it? That would be alot of shit to clean up. If it were me my reaction would have just been to kick it out the door.

Quiet_one 22

Monday 5 March 2012 2:34

But if you kick it, it might turn around and crawl up your leg! Better to kill it as quickly as possible before it has the chance to jump up and latch onto your face with its nasty spider legs. Unlikely? Yes. But these are the kinds of things a person with severe arachnophobia thinks about. It's called an irrational fear for a reason. :)

skyeyez9 24

Monday 5 March 2012 2:15

Th godzilla of all spiders should never be considered a "pet."

skyeyez9 24

Monday 5 March 2012 2:18

Good thing he didn't have a pet camel spider. Those things are hideous. I saw one in my house last summer.

cuddlebunny3548 11

Monday 5 March 2012 2:18

Hehe what did he do?

piccolocl 0

Monday 5 March 2012 2:21

You didn't find it weird to find a tarantula strutting about your home recently after your new room mate moved in? But seriously, its not your fault, he should have told you

sabb1228 0

Monday 5 March 2012 2:27

This made me imagine that mentos commercial where the guy gets his ass kicked by the spider lol.

RoseCrystal 17

Monday 5 March 2012 2:29

I laughed out loud because of how this was written. Hell, I'm still snickering. I probably wouldn't have killed Satan's pet bit rather summon the cute roommate to get it, thus he could explain that he owns the eight legged freak.