Miscellaneous: Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the...

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 31 764

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Same thing different taste

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 190

You deserved it 18 256

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 228

You deserved it 3 110

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 203

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 025

You deserved it 5 960

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 203

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 2 476

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 14 265

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 213

You deserved it 1 995

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 6 857

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 465

CandidB 4

Monday 5 March 2012 1:20

How do u impress someone by showing the smashes remains of a dead spider?

lexa1love 16

Monday 5 March 2012 1:21

I would have done the same thing. The spider should not have been crawling around free, and he should have told u about his pet when moving in.

Comments

arvale8802 1

Monday 5 March 2012 7:04

He shoulda told you he had a pet SPIDER!! I wouldn't feel bad

tf5f89 7

Monday 5 March 2012 7:12

Tarantulas are pretty different in appearance from normal spiders. It's a little strange to me that you would recognize it as a giant house spider rather than a tarantula. Anyway, if it's not too badly smashed, you should fry it up. I would only recommend the legs though; the body doesn't taste very good.

high_tower87 9

Monday 5 March 2012 7:12

Give him some head, he'll forget all about the stupid spider.

yeongji 31

Monday 5 March 2012 7:22

I don't think anyone will be impressed to see anything in bits and pieces with its guts all over the place. Definitely not a way to impress someone.

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 5 March 2012 7:27

Why the **** would a tarantula be in Oregon unless it was a pet?! I mean, okay, your roommate is a dipshit for letting it loose, but the bloody things aren't easy to mistake for other creatures/spiders, it would've been ******* obvious it was a tarantula! So back to the original point, why would there be a tarantula in your apartment were it not a pet? Take a second to think next time (however against the fight or flight instinct it may be)

PhilSchaffhouser 0

Monday 5 March 2012 7:34

I dont care how hot anyonre is, if they have a pet spider they're not attractive

xgetxbentx 13

Monday 5 March 2012 8:15

Well, I don't really think that's the best way to impress him, by killing a spider that is. However, fyl because it's by no means your fault him not warning you that he had one. I would have done the same thing by killing it.

SexRaptor 0

Monday 5 March 2012 8:19

Showed Your Roommate The Remains? Smooth Move...

Phiphilove 0

Monday 5 March 2012 8:34

Did it occur to any of you that maybe she moved into his place instead of him moving into hers so him owning the tarantula wouldn't be bad at all?? Or are you all just too fixated on the fact that a guy owned a spider?? Cause thats not uncommon at all.