Miscellaneous: Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the...

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 31 764

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Same thing different taste

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 190

You deserved it 18 256

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 228

You deserved it 3 110

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 203

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 025

You deserved it 5 960

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 203

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 2 476

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 14 265

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 213

You deserved it 1 995

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 6 857

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 465

CandidB 4

Monday 5 March 2012 1:20

How do u impress someone by showing the smashes remains of a dead spider?

lexa1love 16

Monday 5 March 2012 1:21

I would have done the same thing. The spider should not have been crawling around free, and he should have told u about his pet when moving in.

Comments

alicealice_fml 3

Monday 5 March 2012 1:47

He should've told you. Cause I would go apeshit If I saw a tarantula too.

MargieDrury 1

Monday 5 March 2012 2:30

Hey I was scrolling down and your pic the one girl looks like Ke$ha.

HannahWho 8

Monday 5 March 2012 1:48

Its okay fellow Hannah, I would do the same thing. He/she should have told you about Fluffy before they brought it into the apartment/house. They had no way of knowing if you were spider phobic or not. It's like any other animal, respect your roommate and don't bring something like that in. We don't have many of them here, but I woke up to one on our kitchen table. I screamed and my brother ended up having to get it out of the house. It was scary as ****.

ImTheAlpha 30

Monday 5 March 2012 1:57

Haha, did you have to name it Fluffy? That's the name of a cat skull I found when I was little and kept as a type of pet rock.

MargieDrury 1

Monday 5 March 2012 1:50

Not to be a jerk but that's soo funny omg but if that were me id die inside.

perdix 29

Monday 5 March 2012 1:50

I'd say you and the spider are victims here. Your roommate, cute but stupid, should have told you he was going to let his pet run free. On the plus side, there are some guys who are turned on by women who take on dangerous creatures with decisive action. It means they're going to be able to handle The Python later on ;)

kirstendanielle1 0

Monday 5 March 2012 1:50

I am absolutely terrified of spiders and I still wouldn't have the heart to kill one..you should have opened the door and directed it outside. Or better yet gotten the cute roommate to set it out for you, thus saving you the shame and him the sadness of killing a beloved pet. YDI.

iamyummylicious 14

Monday 5 March 2012 1:57

"Opened the door and directed it out" LOLWHAT? Hannah: *opens door* Hannah: "SPIDER GTFO!" Spider: "NU I DON'T WANT TO!" Spider: *scurries away*

HannahWho 8

Monday 5 March 2012 2:08

Depending on the type of spider it was, it could have been poisonous. Sometimes killing something is just a natural reaction to danger.

kirstendanielle1 0

Monday 5 March 2012 2:20

Bad wording. I meant like with a piece of paper or something. If I see a bug or spider inside I try to gently push it out with a piece of paper or cardboard or something similar so I don't have to touch it. And yes it definitely could have been poisonous but I don't have that "kill it" instinct. Which is why I probably would have gotten the roommate to handle the whole situation

Isoldael 27

Monday 5 March 2012 2:27

I don't think killing it is that great a defence mechanism, since it generally involves getting close to whatever it is you are so mortally scared of. Asking someone else to deal with it seems the better option, you'll never actually be in danger :p

iamyummylicious 14

Monday 5 March 2012 21:28

That's why you KILL IT WITH ******* FIRE. Everyone should have a backup flamethrower for this reason :)!

Dcm210 19

Monday 5 March 2012 1:53

i would've done the same thing,spiders a creepy.

Xalandra 17

Monday 5 March 2012 1:55

That was your roommate's fault. They should have TOLD you that they had a tarantula for a pet. Your roommate should've also kept it in a cage! How were you supposed to know if they didn't tell you? That sucks, but still, they should've told you!