Work: Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking...

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By Brian B - 13/09/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 977

You deserved it 25 464

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 988

You deserved it 4 839

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 21:07 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 824

You deserved it 13 876

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 548

By Courtney - 07/11/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 079

You deserved it 5 241

Am I a ghost to you?

By AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 354

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 164

Knackered

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling tired after a work meeting, so I took a quick power nap in my office before my next meeting. When I woke up, I thought I was still in a meeting, but I had been asleep for an hour. In my panic, I tried to act cool, but I had to walk past all my coworkers, who were wondering why I looked like a zombie walking into a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 323

By FUCKKKS - 03/03/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 943

You deserved it 6 101

You OK, dude?

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 18/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 340

I'm too old for this shit

By Michael - 18/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I took a quick nap before going out with friends. I set an alarm for 30 minutes. When I woke up, I thought it had been a few minutes, so I jumped up, got my coat, and ran out the door. Turns out, my nap lasted 5 hours, and I missed the entire night out. My friends are still sending me pictures of them having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 360

ollie179 21

Tuesday 13 September 2011 22:44

*strain* plop! ZzzZzzzzzzzzZZzzZzzzz

erazzle 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 22:41

Good poo?

Comments

BloodyMary666 24

Wednesday 14 September 2011 11:44

How´s that even possbile?

bramberkhout 10

Wednesday 14 September 2011 13:13

Haha priceless!

Raheemdplayer 7

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:34

I hope you finished your dump and wiped yourself up instead of letting get all dry and disgusting. YDI, how does that even happen?

Louie133 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 19:53

You'll never see anyone as relaxed as someone who's sittin and sleeping ;p

Louie133 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 19:55

You'll never see anyone as relaxed as someone who's shittin and sleeping ;p

peasinacan 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 20:21

lmao u shoulda just manned up

Kface_stain 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 4:04

shoot heroin much?

xpxp2002 4

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:13

I would've just told the truth. What's the big deal?

lisha88 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 18:45

That's one good dump

laughinmyfaceoff 3

Monday 19 September 2011 20:45

too funny, at least you werent in a public restroom like walmart or something lol that is too funny, thanks for the laugh!!!

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The Top

Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 146

You deserved it 25 155

Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 129

The Top

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 268

You deserved it 4 164

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 135

You deserved it 10 601

Today, it's the 11th day I've been in the hospital due to my kidneys. My mother has come in every day since to make me feel bad about missing Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 818

You deserved it 674

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 294

Today, one of my friends thought it would be funny to tell my psycho clinger of an ex that I still like her. It had only been a few months since she finally stopped stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 979

You deserved it 1 676

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 732

You deserved it 718