Work: Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking...

By Brian B - 13/09/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 973

You deserved it 25 453

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 982

You deserved it 4 834

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 21:07 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 815

You deserved it 13 872

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 531

By Courtney - 07/11/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 065

You deserved it 5 236

Am I a ghost to you?

By AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 347

By FUCKKKS - 03/03/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 935

You deserved it 6 096

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 964

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 32 915

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 326

You deserved it 14 193

ollie179 21

Tuesday 13 September 2011 22:44

*strain* plop! ZzzZzzzzzzzzZZzzZzzzz

erazzle 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 22:41

Good poo?

Comments

Bluemonster3 26

Wednesday 14 September 2011 1:21

The toilet monster could of ate you D:

bumblebee17 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 1:39

harrywestt 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 1:43

ROFLMAO. that is just way to funny to be true.

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 14 September 2011 2:51

Tell em the truth...Good cover story for when your wanking.

alexhohohogue 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 3:31

I once got caught up playing cover orange and had to explain to my class that I wasn't actually pooping for an hour during math.. It sucked

walrusman 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 4:38

Believe it or not, this has happened several times to me... So now I feel better.

I_be_darn 3

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:11

Would that be considered a dump and slump? ?

Jeisynxiii 1

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:32

I've fallen asleep at home before, but you are a master to be able to get that comfy at work lol

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Wednesday 14 September 2011 8:32

Congratulations, you just found a way to sleep on the job. This is less of an FML and more of an attaboy.

neongurl98 10

Wednesday 14 September 2011 11:12

.......

Keywords

Shopping My ex Love Vacation Holidays Family AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Relatable Harassment Miscellaneous Engagement Food Ironic Health Work Technology Awkward Money Singing Embarrassing Kids Party Sex Cute Revenge Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off." She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 150

You deserved it 4 406

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 567

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 659

Today, I felt an itch on my neck. naturally, I scratched it. After about 5 minutes of scratching, I realized that I've been scratching a dead fly on the back of my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 322

You deserved it 1 238

Today, I put my travel cup of coffee on the shelf behind me while getting a haircut. When I left, I picked up my coffee and cell phone. A block later, the barber had chased me down to get his cell phone back. Yep, I had two phones in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 283

Today, I’m a happily married man and I know this because my wife says so all the time. E.g., we don’t need marriage counselling because we’re happily married; you're not moving out because we’re happily married, and the latest, we don’t need a divorce because we’re happily married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 197

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 133

You deserved it 2 397

Same thing different taste

Wakey wakey

Am I a ghost to you?

Sneaky

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