Miscellaneous: Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad...

By Wwiimaniac - 25/06/2012 14:05 - United States - Dallas

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 5 513

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Same thing different taste

In the eye of the beholder

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 19:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 123

By box butt - 07/03/2017 00:00

Today, after much dieting and exercise, I can proudly say that my love handles are now bigger than my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 398

You deserved it 632

By random - 08/06/2013 04:42 - United States - El Paso

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 830

You deserved it 16 832

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 713

You deserved it 5 204

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 16:12 - United States

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 34 696

By bride - 14/02/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 032

You deserved it 10 079

By notfatanymore - 13/11/2011 20:50 - Germany

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 369

You deserved it 4 106

Autobodyshaming

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 16:59

Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 549

By BrefODM - 13/06/2014 03:15 - United Kingdom

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 950

You deserved it 7 529

Overthinking it

By omgreally91 - 12/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 30 369

dankpotatoes 2

Monday 25 June 2012 18:51

Don't complain. Most girls would kill to be your size!

redreynard 14

Monday 25 June 2012 18:57

I just like hourglasses.

Comments

Nomosaur 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 0:27

Please share your secrets..

mightymart 5

Tuesday 26 June 2012 1:19

You have breasts implants ? :)

rcgirl2 11

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:15

Please trade with me.

YooEfO 4

Tuesday 26 June 2012 5:34

Why would you say "finally achieved"?

akg98 13

Tuesday 26 June 2012 5:44

Can i plz trade places

ZeroIce 12

Tuesday 26 June 2012 5:46

Lol instead of you deserve it, its Yeah, you show 'em!

DJP0N3 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 6:24

This is one of the hardest fmls to ********** to on FML

HaniahAhmad 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 6:25

Just think of Louis Tomlinson. He has an ass like Kim Kardashian and millions of girls would die to **** him, or even just see him in person.

JFox 8

Tuesday 26 June 2012 6:29

So.. am I the only one who considered the fact that he might be transgender?

Lotuscharm 19

Tuesday 26 June 2012 6:45

Well, you don't have to be a guy. There is an alternative.

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The Top

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 646

You deserved it 1 934

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 405

You deserved it 4 549

The Top

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 832

You deserved it 3 616

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 946

You deserved it 151 294

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 856

You deserved it 54 914

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 114

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 794

Today, I’ve noticed that my boyfriend gets progressively more short-tempered and grumpy as time goes on, until we get to the Friday before we drop my kids off at their dad's house, then for that weekend he’s downright happy, until we have to pick them up Sunday night then he starts getting grumpy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 670

Same thing different taste

In the eye of the beholder

Autobodyshaming

Overthinking it

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