Intimacy: Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 066

You deserved it 86 734

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 498

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 020

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 957

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 904

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 13 117

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 206

You deserved it 20 251

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 152

You deserved it 8 005

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 016

By Sully - 07/02/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 705

You deserved it 23 189

woofer_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:25

You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.

Comments

PureGold 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:45

SMOOOOTH.

turtlellama 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:47

LMFAO #11

genius_man16 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:47

"Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex." so you pressured a girl to have sex when she really didn't want too? Please go die in a fire. Sex should NEVER be something that you have to "convince" someone to do, that's borderline rape right there. Good thing she got knocked out. FHL.

XcuzimsotiredX 25

Sunday 8 February 2015 22:05

I'm terrified by all the thumbs down on this.... that is literally coercion and rape.....

Fabulousmeangirl 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:51

@ #16 Isn't having sex with a girl whose not conscience considered rape?

chrispaul444 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:51

Why is this an FML? Knocking her out makes the sex part easier

TheAntiComment 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:53

no #26, after she got knocked out its borderline rape and she said yes anyway, so no, you fail.

XcuzimsotiredX 25

Sunday 8 February 2015 22:07

sorry but no. coercion is assault.

Ericboi 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:56

Lol, that is exactly like in the movies though. They usually hit the girl's head somehow.

genius_man16 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:58

#29, she said yes because he kept trying to get her to do it, there should never be any need for "convincing" someone to have sex. That is indeed borderline rape, maybe educate yourself about things like that before trying to sound smart. so, no, YOU fail @#27 it is indeed

mojo_jojo 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:02

#11: Indeed, that's why you're supposed to use "who" when referencing people instead of "that": "I finally convinced a girl who I like to have sex." Otherwise the meaning of the sentence is ambiguous.

woahmanmeaghan 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:07

@ #26: ...so me talking to my boyfriend about having sex, telling him all the reasons why i wanted to, etc, and then him saying yes after we talked about it, even though he was hesitant beforehand is rape? sometimes people don't want to have sex and then they're convinced otherwise and change their mind. it's still consensual. and it doesn't say that the OP then decided to have sex with the unconscious girl after he knocked her out, so there's no reason for anyone to even wonder about rape.