Intimacy: Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 067

You deserved it 86 743

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Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 826

You deserved it 26 505

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 683

You deserved it 47 023

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 604

You deserved it 88 967

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 117

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 911

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 13 119

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 213

You deserved it 20 253

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 157

You deserved it 8 006

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 307

You deserved it 5 023

By Sully - 07/02/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 706

You deserved it 23 194

woofer_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:25

You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.

Comments

lowcapacityx 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:08

Aha! Seriously? I feel bad for the girl and sounds like someone was a tad bit too anxious to have sex. Maybe it's a sign from god to save yourself.

MukyDaCookie 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:10

Guys, get over his choice of words and look to the content. He persuades a girl to get into bed with him, and as he romanticaly sweeps her off her feet, he bangs her head on the doorway and knocks her out. Ultimate fail. Im sorry to hear that man, I hope she will still want to go at it once she wakes up

jsmith1199 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:13

its ok.. theyre better when theyre motionless anyway

Curiouser 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:17

#34: I could be wrong, so I'll own up to that, but I'm pretty sure there's a difference between what you did and what it sounds like the OP did. I mean, for me at least it's one thing to maturely discuss sex with a SO and have them change their mind after hearing your reasons. But judging by the word choices of the OP, it sounds like they had been trying to convince/pressure a girl they weren't in a relationship with for some time.

Anonym123 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:18

Might as well get what you can before she wakes up, cause she won't talk to you anymore then.

Jasen_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:18

I normally don't have trouble convincing girls that I enjoy having sex, but I guess if it is so unbelievable reacting like that may be appropriate.

YouMustBe_Joking 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:20

Dude, you must have tried to sprint through the doorway, cuz that's the only way you could hit her head hard enough to knock her out.

Common_Sense 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:29

Psh, what a nasty loser. You should never have to CONVINCE somebody to have sex. You totally deserved to not get laid. You should never get laid, you're an ass.

breaksprinter_ 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:32

Ahahahahaha, that's what you get for not dating her, because obviously you're not if you said said "girl I like" versus "girlfriend", but either way, sorry you didn't get to make whoopie. :( damned the luck. Although I do also agree with #42.