Miscellaneous: Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English...

By joeidk - 12/05/2013 00:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 41 620

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Same thing different taste

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 708

You deserved it 4 741

By dunicha - 17/11/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 374

You deserved it 38 324

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 737

We got a reader!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 05:18 - United States - Hobbs

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 687

You deserved it 3 789

Are you lost?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:22 - United States

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 191

You deserved it 1 779

By Broly171 - 01/10/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 5 645

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 16:14 - United States

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 683

You deserved it 3 886

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 383

You deserved it 3 651

By skinnyguy23 - 10/09/2014 22:40 - United States - Briarcliff Manor

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 3 634

By JackAttack - 20/01/2009 08:27 - United States

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 400

You deserved it 6 049

ItsAnanya 25

Sunday 12 May 2013 10:27

You could have just NOT convinced her to read it OP. YDI.

sabrinaacrow 26

Sunday 12 May 2013 10:28

Just tell her what it is for her reaction

Comments

cjwise11 9

Saturday 25 May 2013 18:57

Well you did convince her to read it...

CaptainRR 20

Tuesday 2 September 2014 7:30

Well mom.. A ***** is...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

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Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 96

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

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Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 11 703

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 135

You deserved it 6 295

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 968

You deserved it 9 595

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 531

You deserved it 86 237

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 977

You deserved it 5 319

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 450

You deserved it 2 161

Same thing different taste

We got a reader!

Are you lost?

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