Intimacy: Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/08/2014 21:05 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 888

You deserved it 8 664

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By denise - 23/11/2009 05:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 945

You deserved it 4 960

I'm bringing sexy back

By Not-so-sexy - 04/12/2009 12:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he replied was, "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 445

You deserved it 6 878

It's the thought that counts

By come on man - 29/11/2014 17:03 - United States - Sunnyvale

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 445

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 17 915

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 8 060

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 12 729

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 15 645

By Sunshine.0.ninja - 29/07/2010 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 889

You deserved it 14 834

By Anonymous - 13/08/2012 18:48 - United Kingdom - Goole

Spicy

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 063

You deserved it 5 219

Recognize this?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 443

You deserved it 19 791

Next

Top comments

KatHelm 17

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:36

Get a new boyfriend?

Secret_Ninjaa 35

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:36

Maybe he was joking? I would hope he was. Sorry OP.

Comments

CallMeWindSock 24

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:42

Well, guess he was the one who wasn't ready

Uglyfeet 23

Saturday 9 August 2014 5:31

None of them. You "feel ready for intimacy" and send your mate a PHOTO to be intimate? Really? o.o

sem2183 13

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:43

Sounds like he might be joking but in the off chance he wasn't I would be shopping for a new boyfriend. That's just not right.

Tthug 34

Saturday 9 August 2014 2:05

It bothers me that people think they always have to be dating someone. It's a lot better for you if you take some time in between.

marcranger 28

Saturday 9 August 2014 2:12

36, it's been over two years since I was in anything more than casual dates that turned into good friendships, and I think I prefer being "in between"!

thespiantess 18

Saturday 9 August 2014 14:34

I've been single now for almost two years as well and I agree with #36 and #38. Being "in between" is great, it gives you time to fully discover yourself and enjoy your friendships.

JazNim17 18

Saturday 9 August 2014 19:23

I agree with all three replies to this comment. I went five years between my last boyfriend and this one, and I really think that gives my relationships a lot more meaning than those of my cousin who is never single more than a week. Not to mention, learning to live on my own and take care of myself was good for me.

Nish007 15

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:49

he sounds like an ass!!

jazmin3012 28

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:56

how old is he? because he sounds like he's twelve.

jazmin3012 28

Saturday 9 August 2014 0:57

how old is he? because he sounds like he's twelve.

buckstop1 37

Saturday 9 August 2014 1:02

This is a repost

678bebe 15

Saturday 9 August 2014 1:03

damn! thats mean

Marie54321 19

Saturday 9 August 2014 1:03

He sounds so immature. No more sexy pictures for him, right OP?

derpina72 23

Saturday 9 August 2014 1:17

Leave his inconsiderate ass now before it goes any further.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 9 August 2014 1:32

It's okay op. Some women have Gummi Bears, some have Milk Duds.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 253

The Top

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 492

You deserved it 2 082

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 477

You deserved it 7 128

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 413

You deserved it 62 529

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 916

You deserved it 3 649

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 64 257

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 029

You deserved it 3 341