Work: Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so...

By screwed - 10/02/2013 10:41 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 567

You deserved it 4 294

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Same thing different taste

By deuceaddict - 03/11/2017 21:00

Today, I was confronted by my superiors for spending a "suspicious" amount of time in the bathroom every day. Not only did I have to take the test, but I also had to send in a doctor's note proving that I have a bowel condition I'd hoped to keep secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 761

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 13:36 - Sweden

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 498

You deserved it 2 894

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 264

You deserved it 1 781

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 17:18 - United States

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 222

You deserved it 2 977

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 148

By it's sharty time :/ - 02/07/2016 18:45 - United States - Bismarck

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 518

You deserved it 1 772

Nervous Nelly

By insaneindamembrane - 16/05/2022 16:00

Today, I finally realized that I have so much anxiety and stress, I would fail a polygraph test asking me my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 869

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 257

You deserved it 1 736

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

Crazynopantsman 11

Sunday 10 February 2013 16:49

It's smelly in here my dear Watson

FMLJFL 5

Sunday 10 February 2013 16:48

Damn, that is some bad luck. But can't you train yourself to pass obstacles like this?

Comments

keykeykyah00 1

Monday 11 February 2013 4:59

I don't know if you're suppose to tell people you're a private investigator...

TheFMLMasterKing 2

Monday 11 February 2013 5:19

Yes. Yes you do.

nightrose0087 10

Monday 11 February 2013 5:35

I have the same problem, but the effects of mine on my personal life only includes ditching social plans and missing school a few times a week. Your situation is probably the most unfortunate possible lol. Unless you were a fireman and got the ***** while trying to save a family from a fire and then having to let them die because you, well, had the *****. Other than that though, your situation is rather "shitty" :)

klovemachine 24

Monday 11 February 2013 6:23

29 is very funny :) and an awesome dude

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 11 February 2013 7:08

Pooping yourself is... elementary my dear OP.

onorexveritas 23

Monday 11 February 2013 7:39

eat more solids?

knick64 7

Monday 11 February 2013 7:42

Hypnotism?

Satoaoi 13

Monday 11 February 2013 8:17

good lord. ok here what you do. carry peptobismal wherever you go

Kalipczo 21

Monday 11 February 2013 10:19

Lol! Sorry but that's pretty funny.. When ever you do something sneaky you get diarrhea? Hey it's like a physical manifestation of your conscience., telling you to be a good person rofl