Work: Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so...

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By screwed - 10/02/2013 10:41 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 570

You deserved it 4 296

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Same thing different taste

By deuceaddict - 03/11/2017 21:00

Today, I was confronted by my superiors for spending a "suspicious" amount of time in the bathroom every day. Not only did I have to take the test, but I also had to send in a doctor's note proving that I have a bowel condition I'd hoped to keep secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 764

You deserved it 304

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 13:36 - Sweden

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 502

You deserved it 2 895

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 271

You deserved it 1 782

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 17:18 - United States

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 232

You deserved it 2 978

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 642

You deserved it 152

By it's sharty time :/ - 02/07/2016 18:45 - United States - Bismarck

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 522

You deserved it 1 777

Nervous Nelly

By insaneindamembrane - 16/05/2022 16:00

Today, I finally realized that I have so much anxiety and stress, I would fail a polygraph test asking me my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 869

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 262

You deserved it 1 737

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 113

Crazynopantsman 11

Sunday 10 February 2013 16:49

It's smelly in here my dear Watson

FMLJFL 5

Sunday 10 February 2013 16:48

Damn, that is some bad luck. But can't you train yourself to pass obstacles like this?

Comments

ElTigre995 4

Tuesday 12 February 2013 6:51

You gotta be sneaky, Charlie. Sneaky.

LittleFluffy 1

Wednesday 13 February 2013 4:09

Too bad. That job looks really cool on TV.

ummmmsoyah 5

Wednesday 13 February 2013 20:55

Well that's just shitty

ajh557 22

Thursday 14 February 2013 16:35

No you don't it will stop in time and your body will get used to being sneaky... This stuff used to happen to me at my job

AmberAusgeflippt 13

Friday 27 December 2013 6:30

I'm a private investigator...if you get nervous about getting caught by your claimant, even just your first day on the job, you're not cut out for it. It's not something that can be taught. It's one of those things you either have or you don't. You clearly don't have it in you. If you're nervous, you'll get made at some point on pretty much every case. Give up. People like you that think they can do this are a shame to our field and make us all look stupid.

Alina_Eduardovna 9

Monday 26 May 2014 5:22

Get prescribed a low dosage of an antidepressant, like Lexapro. It works wonders :)

404wan 19

Wednesday 19 December 2018 20:33

hahahaha your body is literally forcing you to live honestly... it's like a curse, once you learn to not be sneaky you wont suffer anymore! and neither will the people around you. Magic.