Intimacy: Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over...

By UrbanCass - 25/06/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 461

You deserved it 76 858

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 415

You deserved it 1 588

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 59 564

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 144

You deserved it 8 887

Comeback

By sadguy - 18/02/2009 22:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 119

You deserved it 23 262

By prayforme - 11/11/2009 01:52 - United States

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 052

You deserved it 63 229

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 954

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 15 187

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 821

You deserved it 9 992

starflake 3

Friday 26 June 2009 10:23

Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.

Sawadee 0

Friday 26 June 2009 10:16

No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink

Comments

MrTarzanman 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:53

Damn kid!! She got dat ass!!! U betta be prayin while she meditating and shit!!

FaithX 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:57

YDL - ALWAYS use a condom.

U_C_O_K 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 3:05

You totally deserved that.... Don't be a fool wrap your tool ! Has no one ever shared this valuable info with you

FoundManyLemons 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 7:53

Excellent.... Of course, always use a condom. Especially if you haven't both been tested, or had the birth control talk, (or the abortion talk...).

verstecktergeist 11

Saturday 27 June 2009 3:09

So.. you actually trust her after -knowing- her for a full month? You're both winners there..

c0w 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 3:56

Why the hell you sitting here on FML?! Go get Plan B!

blahdsflksfd 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:21

No sex before marriage, YDI

ZuRG_fml 7

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:27

#135, Are you serious? Condoms are pretty much the ONLY method of bc that prevent both pregnancy and STI transmission. Did you have AOSE growing up or something? "We're obligated to mention condoms, but condoms are full of holes and sex is for sinners and ******. The more you know." "Good, so there's no reason to use condoms anyway. *sex*"