Go slow and you will gradually get up to 50 jumping jacks and 50 farts. You may want to stick a tube up your ass and capture the methane and hydrogen you produce to fuel an electric generator to light up your neighborhood.

By the way, the world thanks you for locking your door. Recently, we've had FMLs where the OP caught a guy trying to suck his own dick and a girl trying to eat herself out, and brain bleach is running in short supply. The image of walking in on a guy with his fat rolls flopping up and down while staccato, periodic farts are emitted would cause The Brain Bleach Panic of '13!

Keep it up and never give up!

The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. Good for you and don't be discouraged, everyone farts.

Hey man at least you're trying, keep with it!

First of all, congratulations for taking this huge step in your life. I recommend walking over jumping jacks. Save your joints from the pressure and your nose from the smell.

Swimming is also great exercise. Its easy on your joints.

Maybe you should also do something about your diet.

I fart sometimes when I do jumping jacks too, no big deal. It's better than the people who shit themselves when running!

Good for you!