Health: Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person...

By thatonesilentkidinclass - 04/05/2013 08:11 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 720

You deserved it 12 135

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Same thing different taste

Work out

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 543

You deserved it 4 398

By JenniWearsPrada - 20/04/2011 08:27

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 966

You deserved it 26 279

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 248

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 124

You deserved it 35 886

Having fun over there?

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 00:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 306

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 72

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 907

You deserved it 8 660

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2011 04:38 - Canada

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 723

You deserved it 15 183

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 686

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 18 119

DocBastard 38

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.

dr_snow_bear 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

A small start is better than no start. Good luck!

Comments

DocBastard 38

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:10

Well just wait until he starts doing squats then!

rg350dx 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:20

The Gasmaster. Gettin' ripped while rippin' ass.

ElatedEarthling 15

Saturday 4 May 2013 17:56

The GasMaster: feelin' the burn... wait no, that's just from the Mexican food.

Nicholi124 10

Saturday 4 May 2013 20:09

How about the fartmiceter lol anyways good luck OP

mn_shr 22

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:18

That was a little mean, ******* hilarious, but mean nonetheless.

7yzzFML 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 13:18

OP you deserve it for getting so fat in the first place. But at least you're making a start.

Bootle 10

Sunday 5 May 2013 22:07

Hey like you say, at least you're doing something about it. Good for you, dude. I'm really rooting for you. Farts happen, especially when one exercises.

dr_snow_bear 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

A small start is better than no start. Good luck!

ogatasan 5

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:06

I agree. Congratulations to the OP for deciding to make a positive change!

MelTheGreat 23

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:27

That's true. At least they're getting their rear in gear.

Karma_Geddon 36

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:11

You jumped 10 times today, try for 12 tomorrow and don't give up! Everyone has to start somewhere OP

bjdog98 9

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

Aw don't worry, just keep trying :)

SamanthaCassieL 10

Saturday 4 May 2013 20:11

Exactly. We all gotta start somewhere :)

Dracoboxer357 35

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:03

Loud or not, everyone starts somewhere! Keep it up! ;)

Stalkerloo 11

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:04

Don't let that get you down, OP! Use it as motivation to get fit! Also, a great way to get started is by walking around your neighborhood. It's exercise and it's not super hard on your joints and stuff.

ComoEsJuan 24

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:05

'Fartin' to the Oldies'

Grauncho 27

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:51

Are you autistic

ComoEsJuan 24

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:55

No, I'm artistic, though... I think...wait. What was the question?

oj101 33

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:05

Use an elliptical machine, or a stationary cycle. It takes the pressure off your joints and is less strenuous whilst still burning as many calories as you would with running.