Miscellaneous: Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on...

By Chuffy - 01/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Loveland

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 060

You deserved it 43 060

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 22:54 - Australia

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 151

You deserved it 3 157

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 5 045

By Worsttreeever - 05/12/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 409

You deserved it 3 547

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 209

You deserved it 5 154

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 165

You deserved it 25 750

By skunked - 18/06/2013 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 392

You deserved it 7 074

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 194

By Nose Numb - 30/11/2014 20:24 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 3 488

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - 05/01/2018 05:00

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 536

You deserved it 879

By wjones - 15/12/2009 15:06 - United States

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 518

You deserved it 33 767

SuperPizzaMan_fml 11

Saturday 1 December 2012 12:09

Kill them ants with diabetes

Cainicide 5

Saturday 1 December 2012 12:10

Spray sugar on it - I heard that kills ants.

Comments

randomtiings44 9

Sunday 2 December 2012 3:01

LOL this just made my day

Sir_Swaggington 6

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:08

Or you could try not buying one so early. It's gonna be dead by the time Christmas comes.

needsagf14 12

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:11

Really? Did you bother to ask WHY it would make it last longer?

winkydog4056 16

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:17

It is with warmest regards I must inform you of your entry into the Stupid Moron Club. No dues required.

melly97 0

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:32

This is the greatest thing ever!:D made me laugh so hard

bellatrix0805 2

Sunday 2 December 2012 7:59

Well that was smart wasn't it

Kade20 4

Sunday 2 December 2012 9:30

Hahahahaha! Dumb F***

deequu 20

Sunday 2 December 2012 11:46

You could have looked it up just to make sure. That's sucks though!

COswald27 2

Sunday 2 December 2012 14:02

If you put aspirin in the water it will live longer.

hfnurse13 1

Sunday 2 December 2012 14:56

You don't spray the tree you pour it in the water at the base.,

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Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 22

The Top

Today, I realized that a classmate and I have the same glasses. To prove it, I tried bending his glasses, since mine are flexible and can bend. I snapped his glasses in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 711

You deserved it 39 461

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 915

You deserved it 5 346

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 689

You deserved it 3 763

Today, after I'd saved up and frontloaded working hours for two weeks to ensure I'd have time and funds to go to a local show on my birthday, I received a call letting me know my father had a heart attack and was dying. He did pass away, at around 5AM on the morning of my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 111

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 178

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 184

You deserved it 36 008

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

Christmas Chaos

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