Miscellaneous: Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on...

By Chuffy - 01/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Loveland

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 061

You deserved it 43 063

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 22:54 - Australia

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 152

You deserved it 3 158

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 318

You deserved it 5 045

By Worsttreeever - 05/12/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 409

You deserved it 3 548

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 209

You deserved it 5 154

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 165

You deserved it 25 750

By skunked - 18/06/2013 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 395

You deserved it 7 074

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 194

By Nose Numb - 30/11/2014 20:24 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 329

You deserved it 3 489

Artificial tree meets natural predators

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 527

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - 05/01/2018 05:00

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 538

You deserved it 881

SuperPizzaMan_fml 11

Saturday 1 December 2012 12:09

Kill them ants with diabetes

Cainicide 5

Saturday 1 December 2012 12:10

Spray sugar on it - I heard that kills ants.

Comments

lrv96 6

Sunday 2 December 2012 17:41

And neither one of you had the slightest idea that something like that would Happen?

jeffmusson1309 1

Sunday 2 December 2012 21:12

Did you seriously believe that

Altar_fml 2

Monday 3 December 2012 4:13

Try spraying beer.

IttyBittyIsaa 2

Monday 3 December 2012 14:22

Do you have any common sense?

5HAD0W 4

Monday 3 December 2012 19:24

Cinnamon. Sprinkle cinnamon around the tree. Ants hate it, and it smells like Christmas.

ambitiousnygrl 17

Wednesday 5 December 2012 6:19

And you believed it? Some people! Ugh!

Dribones 1

Wednesday 5 December 2012 7:05

Your neighbor was probably making a joke. He's gonna have a good laugh when you tell him you actually took his advice.

cmac86 23

Thursday 6 December 2012 10:19

Oh my god I am absolutely dying laughing at this. Oh, I'm sorry OP, I know it must be difficult, but thank you for the good laugh.

GrahmerNatsi 2

Saturday 29 December 2012 6:48

if you take a shot of lysol it helps grow brain cells. Since you're clearly in need, you should take 2 :)

soldiat_fml 17

Monday 22 July 2013 8:51

If you say "gullible" really slow out loud, it sounds like oranges.

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The Top

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 2 640

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 435

The Top

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 589

You deserved it 409

Today, while I was visiting my grandfather's grave, a car drove past and hit my car. The damage wouldn’t have been so bad had it not been the same car my grandfather gave me before he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 100

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 2 474

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 391

You deserved it 6 349

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 831

You deserved it 9 929

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 7 854

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

Artificial tree meets natural predators

Christmas Chaos

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