Intimacy: Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 04:49 - United States - Grand Prairie

Spicy

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 193

You deserved it 2 955

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Sal - 09/02/2009 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 766

You deserved it 5 277

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 491

You deserved it 305

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 796

You deserved it 2 546

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 451

You deserved it 42 556

The grass is never greener

By Toolate - 21/12/2016 12:26

Spicy

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 757

You deserved it 1 372

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Spicy

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 59 567

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 143

You deserved it 3 372

By WTF - 22/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 523

You deserved it 3 008

Check this

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 149

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Spicy

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 923

You deserved it 48 797

Next

Top comments

Xx_Nikky_xX 4

Saturday 31 March 2012 11:33

Surprise!

steve412 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 11:38

Don't be quick to assume things. You'll make things worse.

Comments

noelykins1 19

Sunday 9 December 2012 7:12

I think he was referring to the happily married part. OP believes they are happily married, however his wife may not. But I agree the condom could be someone else's. possibly the neighbors. NEVERMIND.

dannie441 4

Monday 15 July 2013 17:36

Do you have any kids?

TsarKeith12 9

Wednesday 21 May 2014 22:04

No kids?

Pauline96_fml 20

Sunday 2 November 2014 22:17

Do you have kids?

badgemaster 13

Tuesday 16 December 2014 14:23

Bitches man... Bitches...?

lycanpyro 6

Tuesday 9 June 2015 5:32

What if they have kids and are just clueless parents

LeoCor 19

Saturday 8 July 2017 11:26

Well I'm the end at least you know she is 100% protected from getting pregnant with that guy

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The Top

Today, I realized how low my husband's libido has gotten over the years. He has zero intention of trying anything to fix it, no matter how hard I try. I don't even think I'm horny anymore as much as intimately touched starved. He ran his hand down my back in passing and I almost burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 232

Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 128

The Top

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 657

You deserved it 14 529

Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 796

You deserved it 5 333

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 6 282

Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 188

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 696

You deserved it 4 939

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 823

You deserved it 13 075