Intimacy: Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 04:49 - United States - Grand Prairie

Spicy

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 192

You deserved it 2 955

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Same thing different taste

By Sal - 09/02/2009 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 766

You deserved it 5 276

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 491

You deserved it 305

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 796

You deserved it 2 546

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 451

You deserved it 42 556

The grass is never greener

By Toolate - 21/12/2016 12:26

Spicy

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 757

You deserved it 1 372

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Spicy

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 59 567

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 143

You deserved it 3 371

By WTF - 22/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 523

You deserved it 3 008

Check this

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 149

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Spicy

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 923

You deserved it 48 797

Next

Top comments

Xx_Nikky_xX 4

Saturday 31 March 2012 11:33

Surprise!

steve412 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 11:38

Don't be quick to assume things. You'll make things worse.

Comments

Isjustjovan 1

Monday 2 April 2012 6:13

7 years of bad luck

Bigboned38 0

Monday 2 April 2012 6:22

Why would you put this on FML, hopefully not for advise, I bet more then have the people on this are kids and have no idea what it's like to go thru something like this. Go get some real advise see a marriage counslar , if she doesn't you need to do what you think Is rigjt

slapped_bass97 2

Monday 2 April 2012 16:58

Your kids?

CodyAllan146 4

Monday 2 April 2012 20:06

Do you have teenage kid? Lol

swazeyq 3

Monday 2 April 2012 20:21

Maybe it belongs to one of your kids...if you have any.

imccdgd 0

Monday 2 April 2012 20:47

Ur wife is a cheating slutty *****

hockey9462 3

Tuesday 3 April 2012 4:10

Maybe it was your your son or daughter... :O

hockey9462 3

Tuesday 3 April 2012 4:11

Maybe it was your son or daughter... :O

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 3 April 2012 19:12

Better start asking questions.

manuel3272001 6

Tuesday 3 April 2012 23:51

I'm sorry man.

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The Top

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 512

You deserved it 5 567

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 862

The Top

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 528

You deserved it 6 059

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 140

Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 181

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 419

You deserved it 139 041

Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 169

Today, i had to explain to two different adults that being illiterate is a valid reason to fire them. I have absolutely no idea how they were hired in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 154