Transportation: Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a...

By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 559

You deserved it 3 555

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 934

You deserved it 3 065

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 143

By Atheist - 22/03/2012 04:56 - United States - Portland

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 604

You deserved it 5 627

Jesus, take the wheel

By ThreeMoreYears - 03/03/2020 03:01

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 234

By Username - 18/10/2010 15:52 - France

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 182

You deserved it 2 919

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 136

You deserved it 2 235

Slippery

By charliebravo77 - 09/12/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 428

You deserved it 4 408

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 145

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 153

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 42 494

MattRoseen 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

The power of Christ compells you!

Mahomie123 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol

Comments

stormchaser24 24

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:08

It is the end of the world. Lol. Jk. That sucks. How much damage op?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:09

"and the lord said 'let falling statues of my son land on someones car'. And it was good." The book of Bastard: genesis 1:1

saIty 17

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:09

This is his way of telling you to start going to church.

Capt_Oblivious 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:10

Jesus Saves (you from a future with that car)

larrythedeer 6

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:10

God reveals himself to us in many different forms.

bibbster18 11

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:10

It's a sign that you need Jesus.

PsychoticAsylum 26

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:11

Lol that made me crack up.

sugarandspice33 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:12

Someone hates your car

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:17

Obviously god hates him...

flockz 19

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:24

obviously it's a stone statue that's a sore loser at hide and seek.

flockz 19

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:27

....that hates your car.

guitardude728 9

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:12

at least he recognizes your presence

lifesloser 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:13

so do you have jesus insurance on yout car?!?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Parenting Jealousy Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Dogs Friends Pranks Housework Relatable Embarrassing Work Awkward Transportation Cars Health Sports Accident Mental health Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 706

You deserved it 3 898

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 641

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 293

You deserved it 22 182

Today, I had to bring my youngest (a 3 year-old) with me to my therapist's, due to not having childcare. After waiting 10 minutes, the receptionist called me up to the desk to inform me that my therapist wouldn’t be seeing me, because of my child being there. Nothing like wasting an hour of my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 741

Today, I finally figured out who my girlfriend reminds me of when she wears her glasses: the character Newman from Seinfeld. I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 184

Today, I was reported for mortgage fraud. The reason? A distant cousin wanted to congratulate me on my new home, but she was upset that I didn’t go through the lender she works for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 108

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 307

You deserved it 5 215

Same thing different taste

Bashed

Jesus, take the wheel

Slippery

Troll level 3000

Grave error

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