By Dontwaketheneighbors - 06/12/2012 14:24 - United States - Santee

Spicy
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 750
You deserved it 4 582

Same thing different taste

Top comments

challan 19

I can't help but wonder if she was in pain...

That means you are doing a great job or you are doing it all wrong

Comments

Daze619 3

Murderers like to have sex too...

jem970 19

Made my day! That takes me back to middle school when salad fingers was the shit lol

every1luvsboners 11

This reminds me of a night a couple weeks ago. As the strip club was winding down around 3 am the beautiful, pregnant, Spanish, lactation show stripper named Annie walked up to me as I sat in my leopard skin undies and pink wrestling boots. She asked me if I had plans for the evening, I responded with a no ma'am. Fast forward two hours later I'm in a crack house full of Spanish crackheads getting a lap dance and lactation show from Annie, then I hear a gun go off. I didn't know where it came but it was close. Annie fell from my lap and landed face down on the cold concrete with a puddle of blood quickly surrounding her midget head. I started screaming "Annie are you okay? So, Annie are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie are you okay? So, Annie are you okay? Are you okay Annie? Annie are you okay? So, Annie are you okay? Are you okay Annie? Really not a great correlation, but close enough in my book.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Be happy. That's a sign your doing it right.

Be proud. Your neighbors will be jealous. The females in the area will her sex cry and want to fornicate with you as well. You have been warned

Last time I looked, human females don't utter sex cries and become ragingly horny when they hear another woman being vocal. If anything they turn their music up and smirk.

It's kind of the same thing as when people r single and nobody pays them attention then the day they have a bf/gf on their arm all the ones who ignored them when they were single want them now.

I agree with 97, and if anything, it's will make other guys 'ragingly horny'.

Hey Atleast you know your making her feel Ohhh sooo good . And that in itself is a turn on.

Either she is in pain, or she's one of those women who exaggerate noise during sex so that it ends up sounding forced and fake rather than pleasurable.

Maybe you just feel short and pointy...