By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 925
You deserved it 7 475
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Top comments

supervacaneous 4

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

123 5
lukep135 6

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

93 1

Comments

lyssa_jean 7

Or if you just cant get it right, use a vibrator on her. that'll get her;)

14 0
Jonkbaby 22

sex doesn't just involve the private parts you know..

25 1
starman02 12

It doesn't?!.. Sex.. As in sexual intercourse? .. I'm from Canada and I dunno if you have a different kind of sex ed wherever your from BUT sex is, and always has been, involving the "private parts". If your being sarcastic someone really should make a sarcastic font! :)

13 34
StoryOfTheYear 14

So you mean to tell me my brother was lying to me the whole time when he said to make babies I need to stick my nose in her belly button and blow as hard as I can?

33 1
xXUND3ADcityXx 0

Last time I checked sex involved a guys' you know and a girls' you know...but hey what do I know

4 20
Miss_Trejo 5

I agree with 16. Sex involves the entire body...

21 4
gravygecko 2

Canada, they even manage to make sex boring.

26 7
ZoeElizabeth 0

He didn't say it didn't involve inside part he said it didn't JUST involve them. If you think that that is all sex is then you have bigger problems than being Canadian.

12 6
challan 19

Well, im not visiting Canada anytime soon! For a woman, sex does involve the whole body. It also can start hours before having sex for us. A pat on the ass, a sexy whisper in the ear, brushing your fingers over her neck... Do something every time you walk by her! Try it guys, and you'll see a change.

19 4
willisawesome 0

This remind anyone else of that one Friends episode?

3 2
Jonkbaby 22

40, 54, and 55 you girls know how its done..

1 4
supervacaneous 4

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

123 5
lukep135 6

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

93 1
kikiwi_fml 9

This guy knows what he's talking about.

10 2
deransc 19

Try to put in as much effort into sex as you do her massage

1 0
Pentium_4 27

dude, eat her out to warm her up instead. works well

59 8
crazycatgirl 0

Alot of FMLs are about sex. It seems like people just can't get their sex lives together.

11 0
lebronesque73091 12

#4 Lol, I didn't expect to read that or at least for it to be worded that way. But on a serious note, that is probably a good idea.

2 1
lebronesque73091 12

#94 I agree. It's a shame really. But they are interesting to say the least.

6 0
DontClickOnMe 28

Well, massages can be pretty orgasmic sometimes...

46 0
Nevereverland 8

I dont know whats worse your picture , or the fact that i click on it anyway every single time!

19 0
jayylove 1

xD your comment made my day

2 1
eimiii_fml 0

I just can't take that comment seriously with that picture..

11 0
Keevarou 17

I can't blame her kind of, getting a good massage is heavenly:) And hey, that must mean you're good at giving massages ^^ So you should be proud about that :3

66 2
Keevarou 17

Eeyup I did ^_^ You guys won't get rid of me that fast :)

11 3
Keevarou 17

Rage quitting ^_^ I were in a bad mood and needed some time to collect myself ^^

11 3
lyssa_jean 7

This should be an fml for your gf. I'm sure you still get off......

0 0
DuffleBagHero 4

Not every girl has to moan while having sex, it also doesn't mean she's pleased any the less either.

73 2
Meowingtons500 18

Awe, don't feel bad OP, at least you can make her feel good in some ways. :)

13 1
Lanewood 2

You should feel bad OP.. You're just terrible in bed it seems

1 0
pinkpixie06 11

Start by giving her a relaxing massage. Then make it part of your foreplay! She'll be relaxed and after your hands have been all over her body, you'll both be "in the mood".

10 0