By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 925
You deserved it 7 475
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Top comments

supervacaneous 4

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

123 5
lukep135 6

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

93 1

Comments

izzy7 11

Massage her back during sex. My boyfriend does it for me and it's amazing!

9 0
teague95 16

In what way is her boyfriend massaging her back weird?

7 1
laden_swallow09 34

Weird? Not in the slightest. Try it before you knock it! :)

7 0
RedPillSucks 31

Probably thinks it's weird to do it while having sex. It's kind of like rubbing your head and tummy at the same time or moving your hands clockwise and counter-clockwise at the same time.

4 0
deransc 19

You sound like a wild one!

0 0
sm0kinBCBudz 0

5- nice dinner is 60$ 24 vodka is 27$ errr. I wonder both get you laid..

0 19
HayleyNicole94 0

Bitch please, ice cubes. Use them on her entire body. It makes every muscle tighten up. And bte GOOGLE DOES WONDERS;)

1 7
breeY0 7

why must you say bitch please before every comment ?

16 0
laden_swallow09 34

That's not unusual, OP. I'm louder when I use a backscratcher than I am when I'm getting it on with my lover. At least you DO know how to make her purr like a kitten. Use that knowledge liberally! :)

6 1
TheEpicMilkMan 13

fml, where anyone can get sex advice/techniques :D

8 0
RedPillSucks 31

Also, where anyone, even 13yr-olds can GIVE sexual advice... -.-

3 0
TheEpicMilkMan 13

^ sadly yes, but I can say that our generation is trying to be grown too fast and not trying to enjoy their childhood like regular kids :/ trust me I know cause I see a lot of girls/guys that are 12-14 on my friends list on Facebook with people from "Jersey Shore" as their idols *facepalm*

1 2
birdcagereligion 10

Some people are just like that. I'm completely silent in bed. Not purposely, I just sort of stare while it sounds like he's running a marathon or something.

6 2
mhopper 13

That sounds kinda creepy.

5 2
birdcagereligion 10

It scared him the first time I think. It shocked me too, because it was my first time and I sort of didn't expect to be silent... the whole time. I can't help it though.

0 1
RedPillSucks 31

Neither a Nymphomaniac nor a Necrophiliac be...

0 3
gravygecko 2

You may not know this, but chicks really like back rubs.

3 0
alexdrakeiscool 1

LOL that's just like me.

1 1
kyrosk91 6

39 - romantic dinner leading to sex >>>> drunk sex

1 0