Health: Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 2 697

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Same thing different taste

Deez Nuts

By ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 371

You deserved it 5 002

Unusual diagnosis method

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 16:00

Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 129

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 353

You deserved it 2 757

By Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 414

You deserved it 8 357

By BadKneeBackAndSinuses - 23/09/2018 15:30

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 148

Thanks for the miracle

By howinthenameofholyfuck?! - 16/07/2020 17:01

Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 631

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 1 405

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 356

IntoTheClouds 42

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.

josebeto1 6

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

****** up bro, hope you don't lose it

Comments

kaye448 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 3:34

So sorry, that's terrible news. I hope it doesn't come to that, and get a new doctor, what an asshole!

suckmysarcasm 10

Thursday 22 September 2011 3:42

your doctor is 3/4 of the way to getting curbstomped.

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 22 September 2011 3:59

Maybe you can arrange a ball transplant. Hillary Clinton doesn't seem to be using hers as much these days.

bballforward33 10

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:32

Holy piss. Well on the bright side, save money for condoms, but lose ur last nut. Well good luck anyway

samp171 1

Thursday 22 September 2011 5:30

what does op mean its after a bunch of cimments

Mr_Banana 5

Thursday 22 September 2011 5:54

You guys are way to serious, I get that cancer isn't funny but it's the Internet, of course people will make jokes. If you don't like it then don't dignify it with a response.

melissatee 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 7:45

Terribly sorry to hear that! My thoughts go out to you! But if it makes you feel any better, i was also born with a spare rib! :)

b1krd00d 3

Thursday 22 September 2011 7:51

men and women have the same number of ribs...

Pendragon525 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 10:21

Wow. I'm sorry to hear about your fight with cancer; you'll be in my prayers. As for Dr. Nobedsidemanner, I'd find a new doctor & report this one. He's too much of an ass to be allowed to treat a hamster, much less a cancer patient who deserves respect and compassion. Some doctors are jerks; when I was first diagnosed with MS by a neurologist, my primary care doctor laughed out loud and said, "Don't worry, it has to be a mistake. Indians don't get MS!" Turns out: yeah, we do.