Health: Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump...

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 08:34 - Lebanon

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 876

You deserved it 5 678

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 718

You deserved it 7 422

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 3 340

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 964

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 629

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 594

You deserved it 36 224

By angie24w - 07/08/2018 23:30

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 192

Good one, dude

By poop hands - 20/12/2016 03:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 994

You deserved it 5 053

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 876

You deserved it 2 784

perdix 29

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:00

F the life of the person that walked in on you and witnessed their own personal live version of "One Guy, One Cup."

Ranora 9

Wednesday 19 January 2011 16:09

Next time just take a dump, and take a spoon to fill your cup. Or wacth 2girls1cup, they will teach you how to fill a cup.

Comments

fmylplz 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:18

aha have to do the same! tho like two samples from two days stored at below room temp. gross or what. either way fyl and mine man :P

bls5301 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 12:59

Remind me not to raid your fridge...

mintcar 9

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:19

Why were you so nervous? The person in the laboratory has to apply a small amount of your fresh fecal sample to a variety of nutrient media. **** their life, not yours.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:36

Oh yeah? Well, I once had a blood test done before getting a urine test done. I was sitting there on the toilet with the cup under me, peeing, when I passed out without warning. Needless to say, I ended up with my own urine on me and lying on the floor, unable to move, with my pants down. Some lady peeked under the stall at me but didn't help me.