Love: Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't...

By mainlaw - 04/12/2009 17:33 - Ireland

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 991

You deserved it 47 285

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By BeerSlut - 02/09/2015 21:37 - Portugal - Santa Marta De Penagui?o

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 2 169

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 3 199

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 10:29 - United States - Palmer

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 192

You deserved it 1 482

By sigh - 21/12/2011 12:39 - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 3 107

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 138

By heya - 24/12/2012 10:09 - Australia - Sydney

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 423

You deserved it 2 549

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 703

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 863

You deserved it 4 377

By boss_daughter - 20/05/2015 12:03 - United States

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 578

You deserved it 14 252

Feverrotes 15

Friday 4 December 2009 23:19

props to OP for coming up with an original way to reference your unit. I was getting sick of all these idiots saying hap sac

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 December 2009 23:31

At least she didn't grab and decide to violently shake them.

Comments

Nizzit2 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 4:45

lolwut? I thought the Australian slang posted here occasionally was a bit wild, but I actually had a hard time deciphering this one :-p

coolio1024 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 4:59

Happy sacks, Christmas edition! Go Snow Globes!

BelaLugosisdead 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 5:21

So, you're saying that your testicles are in actuality glass domes with ceramic figures inside that when shaken glitter slowly falls within? Now Tell me, does your penis act as a wind-up for them to play deck the halls?

alex_vik 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 5:22

Snow globes? Why don't you just say balls or testicles instead? It's not like you have to be "child-friendly" on this site. Hell, it's called "**** My Life" after all.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 5 December 2009 5:30

I think "snow globes" makes the FML that much funnier though then if it was something like nuts. Lighten up? It's still **** My Life.

blastvortex 3

Saturday 5 December 2009 5:55

Actually, it's not an excuse for the latter, but YDI anyway.

Emperor_Jim 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 7:23

I still don't get why everyone says YDI. Harsh words justify physical violence? Um... no. OP, your wife should be arrested for assault. Of course, it seems like a you have a drinking problem, so you probably shouldn't be married in the first place.

omghehehe 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 7:43

Snow globes!! I love snow globes (warm fuzzy feeling coming over me)! :D Love the analogy. Very original, I must say. Hats off to you! Umm, when did calling anyone a "fat slag" become acceptable? I missed that in the etiquette M-I-L manual. Damn, it's not there! :D

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 8:42

YD some sort of reprimanding for getting drunk and thinking that made it okay to talk big... However, FYL because your wife had no right to do that. What a bitch. Why would you marry someone so bitchy about their parents? Does mommy dearest get a final say in everything you two decide?