Love: Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't...

By mainlaw - 04/12/2009 17:33 - Ireland

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 991

You deserved it 47 285

Winter: Snow and Funny News
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Same thing different taste

By BeerSlut - 02/09/2015 21:37 - Portugal - Santa Marta De Penagui?o

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 2 169

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 3 199

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 10:29 - United States - Palmer

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 192

You deserved it 1 482

By sigh - 21/12/2011 12:39 - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 3 107

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 138

By heya - 24/12/2012 10:09 - Australia - Sydney

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 423

You deserved it 2 549

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 703

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 863

You deserved it 4 377

By boss_daughter - 20/05/2015 12:03 - United States

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 578

You deserved it 14 252

Feverrotes 15

Friday 4 December 2009 23:19

props to OP for coming up with an original way to reference your unit. I was getting sick of all these idiots saying hap sac

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 December 2009 23:31

At least she didn't grab and decide to violently shake them.

Comments

happysmartg 5

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:56

snow globes? is this the new thing?

dahlia14 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 4:03

now what have you learned?

42billybob 5

Sunday 6 December 2009 4:22

YDI for being drunk

zl7man 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 4:50

If you don't have children her fault

fiicere 5

Sunday 6 December 2009 5:00

Today you got drunk and do what people who are drunk normally do: make a fool of themselves. YDI

movies12 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 6:00

Snow globes? I LOVE THAT ONE!!!!!! :-D OMFG I am saying that from now on.

lordYDI 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 7:31

YDI for having snow globes

zen_fml 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 7:44

can i just say, YDI and FYL at the same time. your life sucks but you sound like a total douchebag. what the hell were you thinking??

DeathShad0 1

Sunday 6 December 2009 8:54

YDI for calling your mother-in-law that. FYL for your wife kneeing you in the testicles. Your action did not call for her reaction.

RigChan 0

Monday 7 December 2009 2:15

YDI.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 052

You deserved it 8 438

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 183

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 372

You deserved it 2 407

Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 824

You deserved it 434

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 69

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 22 234

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 269

You deserved it 4 664

Same thing different taste

Mum

This is fine

How very dare you?

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