Intimacy: Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by...

I had to laugh at this one and also add it to my faves. Naproxen (Aleve) also comes in a blue pill that looks very much like a Viagra. I have to agree with #31 and **********.

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 24 November 2009 14:48

You have to agree and also have to **********? I don't think you have to. You just want to. Heheh, sorry, just picking at your wording. :P

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The Top

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 358

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 103

The Top

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 290

Today, after complaining about the clocks still being an hour ahead from daylights savings, my work finally changed the time on all the clocks in the building. Now all the clocks are two hours ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 831

You deserved it 883

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 144

You deserved it 8 137

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 647

You deserved it 4 359

Today, I posted a selfie on Instagram showing off my new haircut. However, I hadn't noticed that I'd forgot to switch back from my company's official Instagram account to my private account. The caption? "Feeling cute, might delete later." It stayed up for over an hour, and my future as a social media manager is up for debate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 687

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 035

You deserved it 2 528