Health: Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say... - FML

By RightInTheFace - 12/09/2015 16:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 586

You deserved it 1 905

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 377

You deserved it 6 206

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 981

You deserved it 12 167

Night terrors

By scared shitless - 24/06/2020 08:02

Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 360

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 737

You deserved it 3 541

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 047

You deserved it 3 383

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 985

You deserved it 5 275

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 686

You deserved it 3 100

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 823

You deserved it 7 808

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 725

You deserved it 882

By nahalDZ - 20/10/2012 17:29 - Germany - K?ln

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 495

You deserved it 5 333

Next

Top comments

thatnakedguy 17

Sunday 13 September 2015 12:31

No punchline?

Cads1 24

Sunday 13 September 2015 12:37

I am sure you did some thing to upset her in her dreams.

Comments

ugh_just_ugh 4

Sunday 13 September 2015 17:21

ahaha I've been told i do that sorry friends

kjlancaster 21

Sunday 13 September 2015 18:20

you sure shes sleeping? lol I'm just joking. sorry op..

JdB22 7

Sunday 13 September 2015 19:09

I'll have to remember this the next time my bf and I get in a fight...

JKPwnage 27

Sunday 13 September 2015 19:37

The username...

smoothies14 32

Sunday 13 September 2015 22:37

It could be worse. Once I accidently knee'd my boyfriend in the nuts while sleeping.

BellinaNico 15

Monday 14 September 2015 0:11

I did the same thing to my boyfriend. I had a dream I was being attacked and I punched the guy and then I woke up and my boyfriend was holding his side and cringing. I bruised him pretty good.

nuka_cola 15

Monday 14 September 2015 10:14

If youre a guy and he was a girl

Chilled_Rambo 11

Monday 14 September 2015 5:16

I kick in my sleep...good thing I sleep alone. I hope she won't hit ya below the belt OP!

LebronJ528 12

Monday 14 September 2015 5:27

Make sure you wear a cup.

Insanemf18 12

Monday 14 September 2015 6:37

Your a good man for staying but don't be a little bitch woman can't punch worth shit

nuka_cola 15

Monday 14 September 2015 10:12

Had it been a man hitting a women all of you would be hating on him.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

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You deserved it 475

Today, I'm scheduling a cab to take me to my cancer surgery on Tuesday. I need a cab because there is literally no one to go with me, or to help me afterwards. I am truly alone in the world. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 142

Today, my roommate barged into my bedroom while my girlfriend and I were getting intimate. She freaked out and spun off of me trying to cover herself. I'm now in the hospital with a fractured dingle-dangle. What did he want that was so important? To ask if he could eat last pack of Pop-Tarts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 205

You deserved it 411

Today, I think my boyfriend of 5 years is going to propose soon. He told me he was thinking about it last year, and spoke to his parents, who said they wouldn't attend the wedding as "It's not their thing." My dad passed away in November and I don't talk to my mum, so I have no one to be excited with and share the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 97

Today, I was given a new trainee at work. It was the conniving skank who screwed my brother-in-law and ruined my sister’s marriage. When I refused to train her, I was written up and sent home, while the home wrecking whore just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 242

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 193

You deserved it 8 185

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 306