Kids: Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told... - FML

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 205

You deserved it 102 949

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Same thing different taste

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 224

You deserved it 2 829

By anonymous - 19/08/2013 05:41 - United States - Lamar

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 385

You deserved it 3 058

By Mom - 25/07/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 888

You deserved it 26 223

Get with the times

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss's daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 222

You deserved it 3 377

Bad thought

By Anonymous - 24/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 847

You deserved it 202

Misunderstood

By not a phobe - 16/07/2020 08:02

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 364

You deserved it 271

Mixed messages

By mook - 15/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 263

You deserved it 5 694

By Jason - 05/02/2018 15:30 - United States - Kenai

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 547

You deserved it 1 019

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 247

Trans women are women

By whoops - 03/10/2020 05:06

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 366

Next

Top comments

imamonster1 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 12:08

yeah this kid is a champ.

Sirrush 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 12:08

haha, that's a great idea, very original. But seriously, if you were a bit open minded with him you could have avoided this... I'm also kinda wondering just how you found out.

Comments

murdermygymsox 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:37

that kid is a genius.

rekabdarb 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:41

creative little ******* genius

nixxx90 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:42

haha your son is a genius

NimaRouhani 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:47

the kids a genius, it wouldnt come to lying if the parents were more understanding overall

Stevieebabyy 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:49

Your son is awesome!

drake_p 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:52

he's a winner. such a smart kid. that's a new one. hmmm.

Nakedsquirrel 5

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:55

Smart kid. Cheat the system! Also, kids wouldn't be so gung-ho about getting laid if sex wasn't treated as taboo while the outside world immerses them in it. Telling a teenager they can't have something only makes them want it more, and it's obvious you pussy-foot around the matter and only ramp up his sex drive by not even allowing him to have girls in his room. You practically made him covet it. Fortunately your son is a lot smarter than you and was able to get around a dumbass and arbitrary rule.

mikester3127 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:57

YOUR SON IS THE MAN!

AlexZB 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:59

your son is a GENIUS

maximumoverdrive 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 20:02

your son is brilliant

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 3 948

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

The Top

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 039

You deserved it 3 722

Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 91

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 392

You deserved it 2 945

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 982

You deserved it 56 288

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 395

You deserved it 10 094

Today, I came home to find my husband allowed several of his family members to move in without even asking me. His parents are in the spare room, his brother and wife are in my den and they expect me to make my daughter share her bed with two older cousins. I’m ready to take the kids and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 713

You deserved it 167