Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice...

By Moose - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States - Charleston

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 600

You deserved it 31 487

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By cherbear1000 - 17/06/2013 04:33 - United States - Nottingham

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 838

You deserved it 5 732

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 428

You deserved it 119 191

By SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda - 02/07/2016 02:37 - United States

Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 865

You deserved it 994

For science

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 858

Added flavor

By Toothless - 07/10/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 201

You deserved it 6 417

By bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 293

You deserved it 14 177

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 473

You deserved it 16 561

You absolute melt

By hkkilla - 16/03/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 863

You deserved it 10 538

How's the diet going?

By Anonymous - 04/08/2020 20:01

Today, I bought 3 buckets of expensive low-calorie ice cream because it was on sale, only to discover it tastes rather awful. I thought I liked that stuff… Oh, I remember now, I did like it… After mixing it with lots of chocolate spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 1 264

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 066

You deserved it 7 160

SurfSnowSkate7 7

Friday 7 December 2012 23:17

I'm not gonna lie. I find that hilarious.

MrHotShot22 6

Friday 7 December 2012 23:23

At least you didn't shoot your eye out...

Comments

CrackC 5

Saturday 8 December 2012 4:13

Ive done the saaame thing!!fml too

scarllet13101 5

Saturday 8 December 2012 6:28

I'm trying this.

aksweetheart 7

Saturday 8 December 2012 8:08

Well at least with the spoon you can walk over to a faucet and run some warm water over it...

Sonotsuave 35

Saturday 8 December 2012 20:06

That's COOL lol. Ice cold. Bust out the hot water

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 9 December 2012 2:31

Dumb and Dumber!

pixie4 1

Monday 10 December 2012 2:32

Lol! I feel your pain OP...I've done the same thing

ThatDemonChild 6

Wednesday 12 December 2012 1:56

You're an idiot.

Quadroblitz 10

Sunday 4 August 2013 4:55

At least with the spoon you can carry it around until it thaws.

secretlady99 6

Friday 25 October 2013 19:08

umm....durr

gingerface81 16

Monday 10 March 2014 5:38

Let's think, what are most spoons and poles made out of? Hummmmm

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Break-ups Love Relatable I need your advice Awkward Engagement Coworkers School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Food Messy Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Dance Embarrassing Weddings Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 216

You deserved it 9 456

Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, I was offered a job that pays almost double what I'm currently making. I just found out that it requires me to relocate to Florida. I'm forced to turn it down to protect my young trans daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 1 147

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 899

You deserved it 2 254

Today, I left home to go to work, only to find that my car had a flat tyre. No problem, I thought, I'll just change it. That's when I discovered that I'd left my spare tyre at the mechanic's last time I had a flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 282

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 234

You deserved it 31 147

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 2 122

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 373

You deserved it 9 483