Intimacy: Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only...

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 9 431

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 953

You deserved it 6 207

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 474

You deserved it 2 108

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 736

You deserved it 5 944

Effective

By WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner - 16/11/2015 06:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 226

You deserved it 3 492

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

By JC - 26/03/2012 20:56 - United States - Villa Ridge

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 910

You deserved it 6 145

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 128

You deserved it 13 421

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 338

You deserved it 6 357

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 615

You deserved it 91 024

By Deweyboy - 10/10/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 412

You deserved it 5 119

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 23 May 2011 22:59

"Today, I satisfied my woman. FML" REALLY?

mintcar 9

Monday 23 May 2011 22:55

At least you gave her an ****** OP.

Comments

smurfman44265034 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:01

shes asian duhhh

Jesterful009 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:01

she inherited it from the best!

ShelbyyCakess 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:04

at least she orgasmed.

portablecupid 3

Monday 23 May 2011 23:04

So what OP?

nananabatmannnn 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:06

At least you know you're doing it right.

tnlander 20

Monday 23 May 2011 23:06

Where I'm from we call it "Makin' Bacon"

doom2 8

Monday 23 May 2011 23:07

the fact that you made her happy should make you happy. everyone has their faults, nobody's perfect OP (:

logo79 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:08

sounds like you're MAKIN BACON

Deathchair 7

Monday 23 May 2011 23:10

#20 makin bacon with macon that is!

jordanalexis97 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:09

She'd squeal even more if she heard that... And not in a good way.

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:09

you're complaining because you made her ******?...really? lol you're an idiot op

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 700

You deserved it 3 323

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

The Top

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 290

You deserved it 26 955

Today, my grandmother hates me. So much so that I've become a rotten, desperate, and overall evil person with no thoughts and considerations towards other people. My family doesn't know this, but I can never undo the damage she has done to me since birth (as she raised me). I only care about my own well-being, nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 191

Today, I read an FML about a guy who only kissed his girlfriend to make her shut up up. I left a comment, telling him to break up with her and stop wasting her time, only to realise I’d wasted 3 years on my abusive alcoholic ex. I’m now 30 and starting to think I’m getting too old to find someone and have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 476

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 060

You deserved it 3 781

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 159

You deserved it 6 669

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 696

You deserved it 2 839

Same thing different taste

Effective

Girl boss

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