Intimacy: Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my...

By lalararara - 04/03/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 001

You deserved it 6 784

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Same thing different taste

By acincollege - 21/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 53 039

By erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 7 036

Anticlimactic

By Ray - 31/12/2020 16:58

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 342

By peteto818 - 18/12/2014 17:59 - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 5 404

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 149

You deserved it 26 257

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 15:09 - United States - Beacon

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 053

You deserved it 7 039

By helpme - 25/09/2015 13:46 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 358

You deserved it 7 777

By JG - 10/05/2012 11:48 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 4 208

By BluBaller - 06/04/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 5 903

candy1 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:03

hahaha your boyfriend is awesome

Cokencsi 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:04

I would get straight a's if that was my reward.

Comments

benen 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:44

and? maybe he wants u to have a good future hardly a fml

BlaqMetal13 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:10

this is more like an MLIA

sc95060sc 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:45

so get good grades. stop complaining

xHabsfanx 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:49

Are your boyfriend and teacher the same person?

kodrae 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:51

hahA

brianjman14 22

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:54

I would work 2 get good grades if that was my reward

PandasRtheShit 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:55

^^ this

Person1233 12

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:58

If it improves your work ethic, don't complain.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 4 March 2010 21:04

If you hate the idea of only having sex when reports cards are mailed home, find another bf.

Sheslikeheroin 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 21:09

Lmao. He is so responsible and caring.

0mfgz 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 21:10

That should motivate you to do well.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 937

You deserved it 6 045

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 704

You deserved it 52 044

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was tidying up around the room. I asked him if he'd like me to help, to which he responded, "No, I don't need any help," then added, "Wish you weren't so lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 240

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 481

You deserved it 5 022

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 586

You deserved it 36 718

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 164

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 907

You deserved it 2 835

Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 71

Same thing different taste

Anticlimactic

Keep it down!

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