Virginity, Porn and Intimacy: Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered,... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By virginat16 - 14/12/2010 11:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 7 800

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 670

You deserved it 56 832

LEAVE ME ALONE

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 575

You deserved it 2 033

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Spicy

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 2 063

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Spicy

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 1 765

By MelanieP - 29/08/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 350

You deserved it 8 247

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 655

You deserved it 4 837

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 08:50 - United States

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 879

You deserved it 3 335

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 138

You deserved it 29 788

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 51 023

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Spicy

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 088

You deserved it 4 926

Next

Top comments

fadingaway 17

Tuesday 14 December 2010 16:06

''virginat16?'' YDI if you think there's something wrong with that.

BlaiseTheCraze 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 15:59

how do you know it was ****? the other side of that call may have been dirtier than you think

Comments

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Friday 1 April 2011 21:07

Look at the username... If your only 16 then get the **** over it and wait for someone you really have feelings for... And oh shit I sound like an 80 year old lady

deadxinside_fml 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 0:16

there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 16. my aunt is in her 40's and still a virgin.

Alerana 2

Friday 17 June 2011 20:16

OMG...........

missfamousstar11 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 20:09

that's pretty funny

Alerana 2

Friday 17 June 2011 20:21

when I was 16 I was displeased too that I`m a virgin))) I was very upset! I lost my virginity at my 17 and now I think I didn`t need to hurry with it.

tstevenson 0

Friday 24 June 2011 14:29

WTF I weigh 376 lbs and even I'm not a virgin!!! yes most of my weight is fat but I'm almost 7 foot

GameAddikt 0

Monday 11 July 2011 10:30

Don't worry, so are they XD

ultra_notorious 26

Monday 25 July 2011 6:08

sounds like you're going to be one of those losers that has to pay for sex

alexisssssssss 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:56

The awkward thing about this was I think it was me and my friends

Honda288 2

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:53

Maybe I'm old fashioned by I think losing your virginity, by choice, at 16 is a might slutty. Do tell me if I'm off key.

doglover100 28

Wednesday 21 November 2012 17:52

It's a dumb prank call.

6
7
8
9
10
11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Frustration Cats Cute Health Vacation Party Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Restaurants Weddings Love Weird Ecology Weather Technology Mental health Work AITA Kids Break-ups Jealousy Money Transportation Cars Clothes Capitalism Job interview Heatwave

The Top

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 989

You deserved it 28 254

Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, I bought a new bike from a sporting goods store. I secured the bike in the back seat and slammed the door shut, but I didn't pay close enough attention to the placement of the handlebars. I had to return the bike to pay for the shattered window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 3 489

Today, my friends held a roast for my birthday, as per my request. They went pretty hard and I got a little uncomfortable. Afterwards, I told them that their jokes were a little too far, and they said all of their roasts were 100% genuine, and they just needed an excuse to tell me their problems with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 1 631

Today, my grandma gave me the task of picking up her cat from the vet. As I carried him out, I heard a really deep and scary noise that caused me to drop the pet taxi with him in it. Then I heard it again, more loudly this time. Turns out that's what his meow sounds like. He never meows, so I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 183

Today, my boss called me to say that I'm fired because I was "deliberately ignoring" the messages from a head of another department who wanted to contact me regarding some "urgent" (not really) project. I was on 'Do not disturb" because it's my vacation, and this SOB is not even my boss anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 96

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 516

You deserved it 2 115

Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 955