By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks 491
You deserved it 110

Top comments

#5, where do you expect her to keep it? In a locked safe behind the picture of Grandma and Grandad hanging at the top of the landing 7ft off the floor with a high-tech alarm system and a self-destruct mode if the fingerprint scanner recognises it to be the fingerprint of someone under the age of 18?

Antonio718 0

It wasn't being put into use anyways...

Comments

icanhazstapler 0

By the power of grayskull!

lolololcheese 0

-sigh- after lots of being a grammar nazi, i finally have a comment relevant to the FML!! btw i agree, i hate spelling police haha. "i shall smite you, with my sword of DEATH!!" -whips out *****- "now FIGHT ME!"

smiley_girl 0

wow it disturbes me that there are 10 yearolds on this site, I"m 16 and personally I think I didnt even know what sex REALLY was. And this 11yo knows what a ***** is. Ugh that's sick...

Komatose 0

Why's everyone like "EEEEEWWW! U have a *****!" It's not her fault she has a less than satisfactory sex life. Just because some of u little kids can get off watching the Jonas Brothers doesn't mean this lady can't have her own fun. And to the grammar nazis, u fail. The internet is the pinnacle of laziness. If u want proper spelling and fact-checks, get up off ur cellulite-covered asses and go to the damn library.

blueangels7901 0

Why is everyone asking where her husband is, since she has toys? Lest we forget, we're in an era where women don't need men to raise a child. Why can't a woman have a child and be single? Doesn't divorce come to mind? How about a dead beat dad? Or wait, couldn't it be that she is married, and they use toys when they have sex? Or just maybe, just maybe, hubby-poo doesn't exactly ring her bell, but she manages on her own? Hey, just because he might not be up to par in the sack, doesn't mean he's a terrible husband, or that she's a terrible wife (or mother) for using sex toys. How about you people drop the grammar police BS and mature a bit? For the record, kids will find everything and anything, no matter how high you put it, or how many layers of blankets or whatnot on top of it: there is no such thing as a "good hiding spot". And for those to said to lock it up: nothing is more sexy than trying to remember where the key is to a padlock or the combination to a lock, let alone trying to find a tacklebox to attach it to. Acting as if a ***** is a loaded firearm...You people are rediculous and immature. Evidently most of you people don't have children and seem to have forgotten what you were like as a child. Narrow-minded fools.

I’m pretty disgusted that you are so irresponsible that you leave something like that where your child could find it.

Great, funny and a true FML. I'd hate to be have been in your shoes... And about the other comments: it amazes me how immature, judgmental and ignorant this crowd is. This is the 21st century, sexual liberation for women has been around for a while now and kids, well, they've always been kids.

marlux 0

ahahah he mustve known were it went X(

Absolutely pissed my pants. Great FML.