Miscellaneous: Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself...

By fuck you, jack - 04/03/2014 20:44 - United States - Peabody

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 255

You deserved it 3 303

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Same thing different taste

Simmer down

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 93

By DookDaSpook - 11/01/2016 23:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 529

You deserved it 1 315

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 11 956

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 71 092

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 7 610

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 098

You deserved it 9 088

By CAchickadee - 29/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 306

You deserved it 6 238

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 004

You deserved it 2 226

Spooked

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 08:01

Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 83

By Frouse - 04/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 2 668

leeebeeeee18 20

Wednesday 5 March 2014 1:20

Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.

Zeishah 26

Wednesday 5 March 2014 1:21

Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!

Comments

NineeCat 32

Wednesday 5 March 2014 2:31

Show him the difference:]

tranced_ 45

Wednesday 5 March 2014 2:53

such neighbour, much hate, wow.

flobbityfloob 3

Wednesday 5 March 2014 2:58

Were you making holes in it by shooting it?

MLPcuzYOLO 5

Wednesday 5 March 2014 3:28

You poke holes so loudly, your neighbor confused it with gunfire? You, mister, must be an incredible forker!

FMLBOY1012 4

Wednesday 5 March 2014 3:31

What crawled up his ass and died

tehdarkness 21

Wednesday 5 March 2014 4:09

God I wish I could afford to live in a real house. Condo living is challenging. I have never had something that audacious happen though.

alicat13 12

Wednesday 5 March 2014 4:18

Too much Oscar Pistorius :-)

TheHarvardian 25

Wednesday 5 March 2014 4:33

I know where you're coming from, OP. My downstairs neighbor is like that. One night, around 8, she started yelling and banging on her ceiling because I tapped a scrub brush against a plastic bucket. Crazy neighbors are the worst. We had the cops called on us one night because we were having a "rowdy party". The cops showed up, and we were sitting there, playing Uno, no one was drinking, and no one was even talking loudly. The cops pretty much just laughed and left.