By Anonymous - 08/01/2013 05:20 - United States

Spicy
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 007
You deserved it 8 751
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Top comments

CueTheMusic 22

Maybe you guys ought to talk about why she's so happy to not have sex with her own husband. Sorry OP :(

132 11
saIty 17

**** it. Ignore the pain and rock her world.

125 11

Comments

SerpentBoy 8

What kind of motorcycle accident occurred that your doctor actually had to tell you not to have sex without it just being implied.. Do you have road rash on your lil buddy.. In that case.. 2 weeks isn't gonna cut it..

10 3
etchsanity1 11

Probably strained or damaged muscles in the back or legs

12 0
DocBastard 38

No, it's more likely that he broke one or more bones in his pelvis. Road rash is very rare in that area, and a simple muscle injury wouldn't put you off sex at all.

23 0
exo_went_insane 12

Maybe OP has a really big penis and she's happy about a little break? Just saying..

25 3
Enslaved 36

You know what hospitals call people that own motorcycles? "organ donors"! Your wife was probably happy because she's hoping your-- no sex for two weeks would be a wake up call for you to finally decide to sell/ get rid of that bike. :P

27 8
perdix 29

I've also heard "donorcycles."

13 2
emilyjgraham 34

I didn't even think of it that way! That's quite a positive way to think about it. I like it! :)

4 1
wtffml1979 22

Yeah enslaved that's a new spin on it. That's very possible.

0 0
LolCakes111 7

Sex is like Pizza: Even if its bad, its still pretty good. She just needs to communicate.

10 4
Dilwann 27

Sex can also be really boring, therefore not all that good. Yes, she needs to communicate. But really, what's two weeks of not having sex? -.-'

7 4
DjeePee 24

Sorry Lolcakes, but I've never cried after eating pizza because it hurt (my feelings) so much.

10 0
emilyjgraham 34

Actually 24, even though 14 days without sex doesn't seem a lot if people live together and go to bed wearing a minimal amount it can kind of be hard to keep your hands to yourself if there's still physical attraction! Even if it's just one of them that feels it. :)

3 1
Squeaky_Tomato 14

Two weeks is nothing. They should be happy they have schedules that allow them to spend time together. My bf is a firefighter and I'm an EMT at a fire station and we are on opposite shifts (different departments completely). OP, sorry about the wreck. Hope you work it out with your wife!

1 1
DocBastard 38

Maybe this is the universe telling you to get rid of the death trap. I mean motorcycle. No, I meant death trap.

34 6
Bagel09 11

Or.. Learn from your mistake. There are two types of riders; a rider that has fallen and a rider that is going to fall.

4 1
MeikoD 4

"Say hello to her little friend"... Either there's a major difference in your libidos or may this the time to have the chat you've apparently needed to have for while. The enthusiasm for a break in your sex life suggests that it hasn't been much fun for her, and that she feels it's a wifely duty rather than fun.. You both can come back from this, it just needs communication and understanding.

17 0
buckdharma 37

You need something to spice up your sex life. Try growing a handlebar mustashe. That might kick start things.

9 2
tj5810 21

And not on his face either.

8 1
RedPillSucks 31

And get a couple of wigs.

4 1
sammyjanette 17

Or less. **** is NOT a guide to good sex.

23 0
RedPillSucks 31

This is what one would expect from a 14 year old.

11 0
groundzeromma 8

If your sex sessions last as long as a motorcycle ride, she'll probably buy you a new bike.

1 1