Health: Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd...

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 4 331

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Same thing different taste

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 563

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 122

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 070

You deserved it 4 597

By Anonymous - 11/09/2016 05:52 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 229

You deserved it 1 087

Take deep breath…

By paininthe*ss - 13/02/2023 00:00

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 127

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 293

You deserved it 54 669

By stoolgal - 23/09/2016 06:19 - United States - Yukon

Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 505

You deserved it 1 447

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 19:43 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 715

You deserved it 4 322

By John - 24/06/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 3 430

What a way to spend the day

By theark - 22/08/2022 10:00

Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 86

mubaki 18

Monday 7 May 2012 0:57

My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's trade

yrkamurka 4

Monday 7 May 2012 0:55

What what in the butt.

Comments

comeatmebroo6254 1

Monday 7 May 2012 2:05

Look at it this way, it's a whole lot better to find out nothing is wrong than to find out you have cancer or something fatal like that. Be thankful ! (:

mandadarling 10

Monday 7 May 2012 2:15

No shit Sherlock... You should always try a colon cleanse before hand and see if it helps.

Yaen 18

Monday 7 May 2012 6:27

A colon cleanse? You know that's fake medicine, right? Kids these days.

Ilikeurfmls 13

Monday 7 May 2012 2:15

I had a pylip removed and it caused pain for weeks. You're really the one to complain here OP.

redstaylor 4

Monday 7 May 2012 2:16

The same thing happened to me! Sucked!!

eccentrix 12

Monday 7 May 2012 2:19

Today, my medical test results came back negative. FML

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 7 May 2012 2:26

Today, I was raped in the Ass by a medical device. FML

3rdbass 9

Monday 7 May 2012 2:33

Sounds like you enjoyed it when it happened.

haileyywhoaa 6

Monday 7 May 2012 2:34

That scares me cause I go in for the same thing this week to find out why I'm having stomach pains.. Ugh.

br0ccoli 14

Monday 7 May 2012 2:41

What were you hoping for?? Cancer? Be happy you're fine, OP. Only rich people can get sick and get treated without having to get a shit-ton of debt or sell an organ to the black market. So what if you got your booty hole molested by a plastic tube? You're healthy. Thank your lucky stars.