Love: Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend... - FML

By Nick - 22/08/2010 23:33 - France

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 015

You deserved it 8 258

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Same thing different taste

By Ducati - 10/08/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 863

You deserved it 13 479

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 157

By PoopTart - 29/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 176

You deserved it 14 811

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 11:44 - United States

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 898

You deserved it 2 476

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 198

By anonymous - 10/11/2015 22:15 - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his taser at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tased him for acting aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 1 755

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 632

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend found the airtag I'd stuck under her car. The police were called and she kicked me out of her apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 2 751

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 991

You deserved it 5 566

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 665

Next

Top comments

phatdaddy 0

Monday 23 August 2010 18:57

YDI for robbing your girlfriend. Don't you know she has a taser?

eldiablo2196 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 3:47

y would she do that

Comments

jay4who7 0

Monday 23 August 2010 10:14

hahahaha yes u win :)

Lythiaren 8

Monday 23 August 2010 10:15

Don't tase me bro!

jay4who7 0

Monday 23 August 2010 10:17

lol ohhh shit my money is on schwancy

YourEvilHero 12

Monday 23 August 2010 10:48

this deserves an lol

heyyyyyyyyyyyy 0

Monday 23 August 2010 11:35

srsly u fukin fegs getin on peicemacers nuts bout shiy made me cri o pick on ppl ur own aje grew up!!!!!!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $get monii$

FML_DCED 0

Monday 23 August 2010 16:02

why's she out of the kitchen?

lausarndon 0

Monday 23 August 2010 18:12

YDI for buying her a taser and doing whatever you did to make her tase you.

phatdaddy 0

Monday 23 August 2010 18:57

YDI for robbing your girlfriend. Don't you know she has a taser?

silverFML 0

Monday 23 August 2010 23:24

ha so u break up with her

guitardedman 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:30

YDI for 1st arming a dumb **** with a taser 2nd, for trusting a dumb ho 3rd. FOR BUYING A ******* GIRL A TASER! Thats like giving dynamite to a ****** child! what did you expect

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 485

You deserved it 38 931

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 197

You deserved it 46 189

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 436

You deserved it 4 395

Today, I saw the girl my ex cheated on me with had her baby. I wrote a comment on her photo about how the baby was a product of her affair with my ex. She disabled her comments and I kept getting DM’s about how I should, "stop being so negative." Apparently infidelity is not frowned upon these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 1 771

Today, I went to get Covid test because I had chest pain and shortness of breath. Turns out, I just have depression and anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 133

Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 190

Today, I found out that I’m the only guy in my family that's circumcised. When I asked my parents why they did it, they told me that they wanted me to be “different”. I have 3 older brothers and 5 older cousins. I finally get their helmet jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 526

You deserved it 399