Animals: Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered...

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

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Same thing different taste

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

By unknown - 04/02/2011 08:11

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 5 974

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 337

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 4 902

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 875

You deserved it 2 680

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 3 722

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 781

You deserved it 2 779

thecowbellskit 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 1:09

i hate when that happens.

agsilver 14

Friday 30 November 2012 2:43

Here's a tip, NOONE ******* CARES

Comments

frikkinhannah 0

Monday 26 April 2010 6:02

LMFAO #16. I feel there is more to this story... o.O

troyboyd05 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 5:00

Ah damn you stepped in shit, gotta shave all over again...

jerry10394 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 4:30

creepy

YANKSFAN4EVER 0

Friday 23 July 2010 6:36

are u sure it was dog crap?

SBD1138 4

Wednesday 18 August 2010 11:06

are you sure it's dog poo?

Jayisbeastlyy 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 17:18

lol! on Stepbrothers! - You can't catch me! FTW

skyttlz 32

Sunday 5 September 2010 6:20

lol but how did the dog get in

comedycentral56 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 5:38

love it

Specterk50 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 17:57

maybe it wasn't dog crap...?

irokyoursox 6

Thursday 16 December 2010 8:25

just wash it off. man up.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss, who said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 555

You deserved it 17 170

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 779

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 3 246

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 962

You deserved it 7 441

Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 487

Today, I found out that even after having had my tubes tied, I am in fact pregnant. I have an 8-month-old son and his father just remarried another woman 2 months ago. Neither of them believe that the new baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 234

You deserved it 423

Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 775

You deserved it 1 665

Today, I learned that my boss is training one the the trainees I trained to be supervisor. Everyone supports this, including me. So what's the issue? I was promised that position almost 2 years ago. Apparently, I train people well enough to promote, but I'm not good enough to be promoted myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 793

You deserved it 785

Same thing different taste

My reward

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