Miscellaneous: Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of...

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 959

You deserved it 4 787

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 275

You deserved it 4 595

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 026

You deserved it 2 643

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 145

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 183

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 5 381

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 836

You deserved it 297

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 098

You deserved it 3 657

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 1 511

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 582

You deserved it 2 139

lemoncows 2

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:17

dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit!

Valea_fml 9

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:15

Eww! Disgusting. FYL.

Comments

SCBeauty1983 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:20

I bet now you'll turn on the light the next time you get up for a drink in the middle of the night...

cole86 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:20

well do u like COCKroaches in ur mouth?

LexxyLiime 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:58

I see what you did there

13garoni 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 5:14

hahaha that's funny as shit if you are five years old

bendirkss 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 6:13

63 I love you

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:21

Probably wasn't too pleasant for the roach either.

fthku 13

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:22

I have nothing more to say than this- Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Also ew. I don't mind all sorts of bugs.. bees, wasps.. bring em on. But if there's one thing I am completely disgusted by is cockroaches. FYL man.

yehr 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 18:25

I don't even care about cockroaches.. just not in my mouth D:

HesJustTheBest 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:23

Either move out of that shit house and buy a decent apartment or get the hell out and call an exterminator.

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:26

Ewww how does that happen?

yesiyes 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:09

he sleeeps with his mouth open & the cockroach crawls inside:D

yehr 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 18:27

you swallow x amount of insects in your sleep per year, Inc spiders. there is also a set max amount of insect legs allowed in chocolate manufacturing before it becomes a health violation....

xundria 5

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:39

You are what you eat.

prettypinkpixie 9

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:43

Reading this made me sick to my stomach. Thats a horrible thing to have happen. I would be traumatized for life if that happened to me.

testthecoal 5

Tuesday 22 February 2011 21:24

for life? Move to the amazon &see how long you can last there

darkness777 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 4:34

search up. 2 girls 1 cup on google or also search up 1 guy 1 jar

prettypinkpixie 9

Wednesday 23 February 2011 5:30

Yes #43, for life. When I was in the 3rd grade I had this large furry spider crawling up my arm, and I still get grossed out when I think about it. Having a cockroach in your mouth is much worse than that. And why would I move to the Amazon? I don't need to see how long I would survive there, seeing as how I would never go there. I'm happy as can be here in Cali.