Miscellaneous: Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of...

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 959

You deserved it 4 787

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 275

You deserved it 4 595

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 026

You deserved it 2 643

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 145

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 183

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 5 381

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 836

You deserved it 297

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 098

You deserved it 3 657

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 1 511

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 582

You deserved it 2 139

lemoncows 2

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:17

dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit!

Valea_fml 9

Tuesday 22 February 2011 19:15

Eww! Disgusting. FYL.

Comments

Kelsey103 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:06

Ew!

Mokegowa 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:07

I would then proceed to scream and quite possibly begin to induce vomiting. *shudder*

socalsd 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:19

I dont think I would ever sleep again after that. fyl

tona01 16

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:25

YDI for having a house so dirty, that cockroaches appear in such places, dude clean up and then call the exterminator

levietlinh 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:27

Bear Grylls would be proud.

eminem1712 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 22:37

looks like u need to clean the dishes better... :)

mikkelkarn 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 23:26

I am glad I live in å country without those nasty little creatures OP, fyl

Hello_kitty_love_fml 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 23:34

I'm guessing that OP had left a glass of water in his/her kitchen or room, and then a cockroach crawled in. If not, maybe you just sleep with your mouth open.