Work: Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I... - FML

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 904

You deserved it 24 410

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Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 1 585

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 125

You deserved it 5 300

By Bee - 08/06/2011 00:13 - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 936

You deserved it 8 314

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 853

You deserved it 31 224

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 326

You deserved it 3 976

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 1 813

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 412

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 148

By convict possibly - 26/05/2017 18:00

Today, I got to try on a stunning suit that made me the handsomest man in the world. Upcoming prom? No. Wedding? No. I attended a date... A court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 390

You deserved it 2 097

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 203

You deserved it 2 575

Next

Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:06

Priceless. But depending on the case, there is a small possibility, you were still correct.

OppositesAttract_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:03

Nice. XD FYL, but it's not your fault, we all mess up sometimes like that. ;P

Comments

brainwascht 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:07

haha, omg. this made me lol.

IphaiLyf 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:08

Freudian slip perhaps? its okay, it happens to the best of us! =/

Dboy23 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:09

OMG LOL! That made my day hands down.

RiverRelic 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:13

If you are doing criminal defense then we'd call that a very ironic slip.

fxdxhk90 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:20

looks like everyone in the courtroom now knows what your favorite hobby is.

c35ari0n 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:21

oh my god.! my bff andrea who is studying to be a lawyer will probably do that too! she always messes up words.. one day she said instead of social worker... sexual worker haha ! :D

Daenerys_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:22

Aww hahah that really sucks, I'm sorry!

kapay 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:26

OBJECTION! My private affairs shouldn't be scrutinized here today.

xHaniffax 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:31

HAHAHH that's hilarious but you were probably nervous so it doesn't matter.

hahaha6 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:31

OP: You win! Thanks for the laughs :)

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The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 189

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 485

You deserved it 38 931

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 357

Today, and every day I decide to get therapy for my severe depression, my parents spring a workload of chores on me, which mentally exhausts me to the point I can’t do anything. Including start my therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 249

Today, I've lied about my grades for three years of high school already and my mom thinks I'm a straight A student. I'm supposed to be going to college in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 652

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 880

You deserved it 458

Today, I got a big math test back. Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught. Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 024

You deserved it 851

Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 265