Work: Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I...

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 904

You deserved it 24 410

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Same thing different taste

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 1 585

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 123

You deserved it 5 300

By Bee - 08/06/2011 00:13 - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 936

You deserved it 8 314

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 853

You deserved it 31 224

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 326

You deserved it 3 976

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 1 813

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 412

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 148

By convict possibly - 26/05/2017 18:00

Today, I got to try on a stunning suit that made me the handsomest man in the world. Upcoming prom? No. Wedding? No. I attended a date... A court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 390

You deserved it 2 097

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 2 575

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:06

Priceless. But depending on the case, there is a small possibility, you were still correct.

OppositesAttract_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:03

Nice. XD FYL, but it's not your fault, we all mess up sometimes like that. ;P

Comments

mistystarlight 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:09

a swing and a miss! lol i bet that was priceless

Hustlinpimp 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:10

It happens to the best of us...

chaddyd23 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:10

I would have called them a *****. But prostitute is ok.

rangermedic77 5

Saturday 19 February 2011 6:49

lol

sun_babe 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:12

I hope you didn't lost your license.

Svenji 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:12

That one's too good .. you should make it a theme for all your cases from here out

thuryn 2

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:15

I would say your statement was accurate. ;)

tayliarae 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:16

did it get a chuckle from the Court? funny, embarrassing, but not really FYL..

dcainswo 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:17

we all fumble with words from time to time..... no worries!!!

regalarius 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:18

At least you spoke no lies.

mrslagz 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:18

hahaha thats funny!!

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The Top

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 007

You deserved it 47 415

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that he won’t let me meet his family. He sarcastically replied, “What, you mean my wife and kids? You’re a mistress, remember? You don’t get to meet my family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 347

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 695

You deserved it 385

Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 030

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 672

You deserved it 376

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 206

You deserved it 3 389

Today, despite getting to the bus stop early, the first bus didn’t turn up. The second one was late, and severe traffic caused me to be late for work. I can’t afford for my wages to be docked from this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 117

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 7 750

Same thing different taste

Contempt

That ain't it

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