Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the...

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

Thanks bossman

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 687

You deserved it 3 921

By Sadfaic - 23/01/2012 02:59 - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 643

You deserved it 2 151

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 94

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 4 252

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 433

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 4 294

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 663

You deserved it 3 397

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 501

Codezlol 21

Saturday 21 March 2015 8:42

Your dad needs to mime his own business

michaelaranda 28

Saturday 21 March 2015 8:31

Sorry about all the trouble op. Hopefully your dad will pay you back the bail and will be appreciative for your help. Everyone makes mistakes when theyre drunk. Not an excuse or justification.

Comments

spike7447 13

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:19

You should've had his back... ?

LTSMKASTRY 5

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:24

Next time don't bail him out, it matters not that he is your dad. That behavior needs to be punish and by bailing him out you are saying: 'hey keep being an ass I will avoid letting you be punish every time.'

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 17:28

This is probably the greatest FML I've ever read.

DarkRealmGolem 9

Sunday 22 March 2015 18:55

"******* bastard was playing mind games" I'm sorry but I found that comment hilarious. but seriously I hope he pays you back and thinks about what he did.

someguyhere 12

Monday 23 March 2015 15:54

He did what we all wish we could do... god bless that man!

The_Skittish_One 27

Tuesday 24 March 2015 2:15

I feel so bad for you and the mime :( I have spent the past two weeks approximately trying to cope with an alcoholic family member. It has not been fun, but at least they have not been violent. I hope that your dad can get the help that he needs, that you can get support that you need (because it is a very stressful situation!), and that the mime heals up quick.