Miscellaneous: Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs.... - FML

By ven980 - 01/06/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 845

You deserved it 29 523

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Same thing different taste

By guyshithappensto - 22/05/2010 02:41 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 41 725

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 71 739

Weak

By Heavybreather - 13/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Athens

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 872

You deserved it 1 129

Return to sender

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 03:00 - United States - Madison

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. with an extremely satisfying fart. It felt great and I probably would have fallen right back to sleep, except that my ass was 8 inches from the air intake of my CPAP machine that I use, due to smoke inhalation damage from being a firefighter. It was so gross that I threw up in the CPAP mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 239

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 817

You deserved it 54 646

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 80 947

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 20:00

Today, I was pumping the tire of my bicycle indoors, and suddenly the inner tube exploded next to my head. One ear is now ringing and the other one feels like it's bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 185

You deserved it 1 041

Surprise

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 340

You deserved it 4 365

By LiveGuard - 28/03/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 855

You deserved it 22 327

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 46 292

Next

Top comments

FruityLoooons 8

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:51

Why would you even...?

Sephiroth7 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:11

That blows..

Comments

lifecontroller 2

Thursday 2 June 2011 22:11

Guys guys, dont be so hard. Its really hard to tell if there is a hole in a blow up matress!

SapphireSympathy 7

Thursday 2 June 2011 23:52

I know there was a hole in it but... other than that air mattresses are hard as shit to blow up, trust me, I was stupid enough to try... It must've been made with balloons

sweethyegirl 8

Friday 3 June 2011 0:57

Fail

dreamering 16

Friday 3 June 2011 1:18

Who said she doesn't?

alltimekyle 6

Friday 3 June 2011 8:25

*Facepalm*...

jagedlion 0

Friday 3 June 2011 9:47

You actually pass out from a lack of CO2, not oxygen. Just a fun fact.

geeksaresexy 18

Friday 3 June 2011 11:23

No, you pass out from lack of O2 in the brain. The lack of CO2 causes constriction of the blood vessels to the brain but ultimately it's lack of oxygen that causes you to pass out

CharlieJames13 0

Friday 3 June 2011 12:22

That happened to me when I was playing with my kittens

vde_fml 15

Friday 3 June 2011 20:20

You did not had lack of oxigen, you hyperventilated that's all.

doggiemcwoofwoof 2

Thursday 9 June 2011 4:22

At least you found out

epullley 1

Wednesday 7 March 2012 23:39

dang bro next time check?

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The Top

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 738

You deserved it 9 089

Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 105

The Top

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 402

You deserved it 28 910

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 11 011

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 900

You deserved it 16 895

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 569

You deserved it 909

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 933

You deserved it 63 635

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 925

You deserved it 5 567